Why is Snooki on People Magazine’s Cover?

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Dear People Magazine,

Are you serious?

You couldn’t come up with any other ideas this week? Because it is really monumental that a meatball had a baby? Guess who else had a baby last month? Plenty of women. And I bet most of them have not spent the last few years peeing regularly on a dance floor. Most of them walk out the front door wearing underwear. They don’t saddle up to a bar at breakfast and spend the remainder of the day pounding Long Island iced teas.

Do you really think she’s going to stop partying? She lives with her fiancée’s parents in their basement. You know who else does that? People who spend their paycheck on melon ball shots and door fees at nightclubs. People who pre-game for girl’s night out starting at 9:30 in the morning. The same people who guzzle cans of Coors Light at their kid’s tee-ball games. You know, the weirdoes who wear leopard print mini skirts and fringe tank tops to pick up a six-pack of wine coolers, a bag of Kettle chips, and an extra large Slurpee before heading to their kids parent-teacher conferences.

And you just put her on your cover holding her newborn that she dressed in a custom made onesie with a crucifix and bedazzled booties in honor of the Italian flag.


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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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