Real Housewives of Orange County

Vikings: Real Housewives of OC Recap

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This week on Real Housewives of Orange County Peggy revealed a secret video to Lydia, the Vikings hosted the women for dinner, and everyone yelled at Peggy. 

PLANET PEGGY

On their last day in a country that looked like Mars it became clear that Peggy was from another planet. They tried with great effort to communicate with her, but getting Peggy to explain herself was like asking a cricket to do trigonometry. She was unhappy with what happened the night of Vicki’s hospitalization, which led to a hotel suite isolation. “Do you have any food?” she asked Lydia the next day. “I have had nothing to eat since yesterday morning.” Lydia offered her a bag of half-eaten popcorn and eased her into a 1980’s leather recliner in her England themed suite.

When Peggy threatened to have Diko, a man of small stature with heavy religious statement necklaces, speak to Kelly’s husband Michael it set off a wave of laughter. It was so absurd Tamra urinated in her lace up workout pants. Why would two middle-aged men work out a fight between two adult woman paid to appear on a reality television drama? However Peggy saw it differently. Peggy thought Kelly’s laughter appeared to be joy over the death of her father, which made absolutely no sense even to Lydia. “Um, no, that’s not at all what she was saying,” whispered Lydia.

SAGA CENTER

Later that night they ate dinner at the Saga Center, an old factory decorated with long picnic tables with patrons dressed like medieval warlords. They collectively chewed on turkey legs and roasted potatoes. “Oh, this is slow cooked,” said Shannon. Tamra and Vicki sat beside each other and linked arms as they downed shots of Viking juice. There seemed some hope for a renewed friendship. “I just don’t want a yo-yo relationship,” said the woman who invited Tamra’s ex-hairdresser to her birthday party to sabotage her on air. Tamra kindly asked for her to never put a man before her.

GIVE AN APOLOGY

It was unsettling for Shannon who had spent an inordinate amount of time on the phone with Tamra discussing their mutual hate. How could Tamra forget all that had been done? “Just give her an apology,” Tamra said to Vicki of Shannon. Vicki rubbed her tongue along the roof of her mouth and pressed her fingernails into her skin. “I am sorry for misrepresenting the conversation we had late one night while you wept. It was never my attention to take personal information about your tumultuous marriage and share it with the person we hazed on our group trip to Ireland last season,” said Vicki. Shannon thanked her and then stood up so that she could conduct the Icelandic Men’s Choir dressed in snow sweaters behind them in a version of their national anthem.

VIKINGS

Peggy arrived at the dinner in a cocktail gown for a flamenco academy graduation. “You look nice and I am sorry for what happened last night,” said Kelly. It was her hope that Peggy would nod her head and they could move forward. Instead Peggy shamed Meghan for sleep training her 5-month old baby. “You let your baby cry for ten minutes,” said Peggy while holding up her phone. Then she called her a 35 year-old giraffe. (She was actually 33). “Wait, you taped me?” asked Meghan. Lydia tried to assure Peggy that Bridget the nanny/cousin was probably on duty and that people like Linda Tripp end up with horrible bangs and alone. She also recorded insignificant conversations between Kelly and Tamra, which rattled Kelly to the core. “You want to throw a bomb? I will throw a nuke,” Kelly screamed while motioning her hands into the international sign for explosion.

ODD

Meghan quietly wept and Peggy tried to comfort her. “It’s just that you’re so odd, Peggy,” said Meghan. “What do you mean odd?” she replied. “I am not odd, I have the energy of someone as young as your nanny.” NOT OLD, Peggy, they tried to reason. SHE SAID YOU ARE ODD! “What is odd?” she repeated as she walked out the door and into a passenger van. “Is that you, Vicki?” Peggy asked. “Yes, I am just assessing commission rates in my head,” said Vicki. She tried with great pain to explain that she would not stick up for Peggy at any point because she had learned in her 27 seasons on this show that it was pointless to get involved in other people’s fights. Peggy felt betrayed. After all that she had done to significantly delay her care while in the presence of emergency personnel Vicki would turn her back? Hours later she left on her own flight back into Diko’s arms. “Peggy flew the coop,” said Kelly in a FaceTime chat the next morning. “She left me?” asked Vicki. “I hate this shit hole, I would have loved to blow this taco stand.”

BACK HOME

Once back in Orange County Meghan and Jim assembled candles. Peggy shared with Diko her vacation horror story while sitting in a jean jacket made from Kate Hudson’s worst Oscar dress. (It was stonewashed jean and with chimes). Briana explained to her young sons that their Nana had various problems with her old friends. She apologized to Peggy for not standing up in her defense at the Viking dinner party. Tamra accompanied Shannon to a meeting with a doctor about her hormone levels. Her progesterone levels were dismal. “Looks like you have no libido,” said the doctor with zero expression. “Seems like my husband doesn’t have one either,” she replied. She calmly noted that David was no longer interested in her romantically or physically. It was not a shock to the person who filmed them together in their living room mulling over the health of their dog and whether David should attend Meghan’s season finale candle party. “I guess I can go and then immediately leave,” David said while staring at the ceiling.

NEXT WEEK:

A candle party.

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap, Vikings, Peggy, Meghan, Kelly

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