Show Recaps

Paybacks: 15 Observations From Vanderpump Rules Reunion

By  | 

What I Learned From The Vanderpump Rules Reunion: Part One

They all wanted paybacks for a season littered with passive aggressive digs.

PAYBACKS

  1. Lisa wore a Vegas jacket with bejeweled monocle to the reunion.
  2. They were all dressed for a junior prom.
  3. Kristen and Brittany wore scrap tops, which allowed their breasts to breath in the wind.
  4. Andy forgot to say hello to Kristen, which made her regret dialing down the crazy this season.
  5. Brittany and Kristen didn’t take things down south despite Jax’s insistence.
  6. The camera operators had the night off the day Jax got evicted. They regretted it because it would have secured at least two additional episodes. Brittany was left to handle the debacle offering to repay the apartment manager in whiskey and bologna sandwiches. They asked them politely to find other living arrangements. Soon after Jax and Brittany secured an apartment down the hall from Schwartz and Katie, in a building undoubtedly decorated with Absolut vodka posters and plastic flowers.
  7. Schwartz’s penis works just fine.
  8. Lala made a surprise appearance and greeted Andy with a salutation normally used at a West Side Story rehearsal.
  9. Lala made the others angry by insisting in interviews that she was the star of the show, something the others also noted Stassi had done in previous seasons. Stassi noted she had been forced to acknowledge this idiotic statement for years, and wished the same experience for Lala. DJ James Kennedy reminded everyone that it was his work pushing play on his iPod while wearing a tank top that really stole the show this season.
  10. James declared his love for Raquel, who is most likely sleeping with him to be on the show. James agreed Gigi slept with him to be on the show, much like he slept with Kristen to be on the show. They did not address who has slept with Max (Lisa’s son) to get on the show.
  11. The cooks at SUR think Kristen is crazy, Jax is a womanizer, and Brittany has big boobs. They have also watched the last five seasons.
  12. The women on the right side of the stage agreed that Scheana was a people pleaser. She enjoys playing the part of the victim in a never ending made for TV movie she writes, directs, and stars in.
  13. Brittany and Scheana share a deep friendship and a love for tchotchkes.
  14. Tom Sandoval has a menstrual cycle.
  15. Scheana hates it when you point out she has a great body.

Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part One, Paybacks, Stassi, Lala

Join the newsletter

Subscribe to get our latest content by email.

Powered by ConvertKit
mm

Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *