Show Recaps

Vanderpump Rules Recap: Gay Pride

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This week on Vanderpump Rules when terrorism strikes the Orlando gay community Lisa pushes forward with the Gay Pride parade and party.

GAY PRIDE

Gay pride was Sexy Unique Restaurant’s most profitable day of the year. It was why Lisa spent tens of dollars on uniforms made from scraps of clothing and life-sized jack in the boxes with penis peepholes. It was why she had sent away for a custom made hat made from peacock feathers dyed in Maybelline red and a corresponding strapless gown from Jessica McClintock. What she did not expect, however, was that an awful tragedy in Orlando would impact that year’s gay pride celebration.

Days before the gang gathered at the restaurant for a shift meeting to discuss the gay pride’s details. “First let’s pretend you guys actually work shifts here,” Lisa explained. “Then once we finish I can talk to the actual staff who serves the tables and pours the drinks.” “Sounds cool,” Jax said before checking his Instagram. Ariana offered to try on the Gay Pride outfit, a bathing suit minus a top, which made the most sense because she had the best butt. Lala, who normally liked to disrobe in the presence of strangers and men in committed relationships declined the opportunity to participate in the restaurant fashion show because she had forgotten to put on underwear. “What?” she sighed, “I like to air out my vag.”

LALA’S BOYFRIEND

That, of course, was also a point of discussion. Who was Lala’s boyfriend? “I just don’t understand anything coming out of her mouth,” said Jax, which was saying a lot since some considered him a pathological liar. “I heard his wife found sexual text messages from her,” said Scheana who made her Vanderpump Rules debut due to an affair with Eddie Cibrian. James, who had been down on his luck since getting canned from SUR came no closer to an answer. “Get over yourself, LaLa,” said James. One day she was single, the next she was dating a football player, and at least twice she noted he was a millionaire. It still didn’t explain how she was able to afford a Range Rover lease. “Forget it,” James mumbled. “Are you ready to play music?” he asked before taking out his Fisher price plastic xylophone so he could work on some beats.

COCKTAIL BOOK

Ariana and Tom had begun the week arguing about a cocktail book she had planned on pitching to publishers. For Tom it was a strange notion, the idea of her shilling cocktail recipes when he had considered himself the best bartender at SUR. “Let’s be honest,” he told Arianna, “you are a miserable person and you don’t know how to make simple syrup.” She told him it was un-sexy to be so bitter. “Look, I am no salesperson,” Ariana explained as her brother and another cameraman filmed her straining to make a muddled drink. She was right, she was no salesperson. Sandoval leapt over the bar to make sure there was enough ice in the drink.

MONTAUK

The other girls had spent the week discussing a road trip suggestion made by two of Stassi’s new and very blonde friends over lunch at SUR. “We’re going to go to Montauk,” Stassi said to Scheana. “Uh, what’s that?” she asked. She thought the Hamptons were a chain of hotels. Lisa walked past holding her dog and reminded Stassi there was a take-out menu at the hostess stand. “You guys going on a trip?” Lala asked while walking past the table with menus. They explained to her that she was not invited even though she made it a point to say that she has access to private jets. “Commercial planes just freak me out,” she said while wincing. “Much like an appropriate sized bra,” Stassi said under her breath.

ARIANA

Ariana and Tom were the only ones on good terms with Lala, which was why Ariana invited her to join them for the second worst birthday celebration; a trip to Nascar. (The worst birthday celebration was a year earlier when she held a party with bounce houses). To reward them for not thinking she was a horrible person Lala mentioned possibly, but not definitely meeting her mysterious boyfriend who may or may not be married if they were available to fly private to a football game in Miami. They were down. But then the conversation switched back to the cocktail book, which unnerved Tom. “Is this because you are not the center of attention for once?” Ariana questioned.

STAND UP

But this all was put aside after the tragedy in Orlando, which reminded them that it wasn’t worth fighting about simple things. Half the staff didn’t show up for the Gay Pride parade in West Hollywood and for festivities back at SUR. Lisa Vanderpump was not willing to let anyone ruin Gay Pride. “What do we do, capitulate or back down?” she asked several people. Then she remembered she was dressed in a red gown and corresponding polo match hat. She jumped on top of the bus and waved to the parade guests. Screw this; the parade and festivities must go on!

Jax and Brittany arrived at the restaurant, Brittany in the horrible uniform Lisa had chosen. Tom Schwartz walked to the restaurant as well. They all took fireball shots and reminded each other not to worry about trivial things, like a cocktail book or restaurant DJ mixes. They did; however, all agree that Lala was still a horrible person.

Lisa gave a heartwarming speech and they all danced.

NEXT WEEK:

Stassi interviews Jax and everyone hates Scheana.

Vanderpump Rules, Gay Pride

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Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

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