Real Housewives of Orange County

Spartan Race: Real Housewives of OC Recap

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This week on Real Housewives of Orange County Tamra and Lydia participated in a Spartan race and the others celebrated St. Patrick’s Day.

SPARTAN RACE

For several days Tamra practiced jumping up a wooden fence in the parking lot of Cut Fitness preparing for a Spartan race, an event focused on overcoming obstacles while in a mud pile for charity. Eddie was on board because he enjoyed  anything that required him to wear gym shorts. Lydia and Doug signed up because it would be another opportunity to scout locations for potential Nobleman magazine parties. David Beador wanted to feel the exhilaration of dirt running through your wet hair.

Though Tamra criticized Shannon for non-participation in the Spartan race she did not take into account that Shannon had barely begun an exercise regimen. One day she would break a 45-minute sweat while standing on top of a beach balloon and others walk circles in her living room. It depended on the day and therefore she was in no shape to sprint through a sand storm or climb up a military rope. Tamra did not understand this simple concept, or that it was insensitive to invite a woman subsiding on a limited caloric diet to a fancy restaurant and seat her in front of a seafood tower.

As Shannon dabbed tears from her eyes she explained that David was spending hours in the gym every day preparing for an athletic race, and not in her arms. They had just renewed their vows and now she was competing against an elliptical machine for his attention.

BREAST CANCER JOURNEY

During a lunchtime meal of vodka and lime wedges Peggy shared with Shannon her breast cancer journey. With good reason Shannon had trouble following the story. Why was it so difficult to communicate with Peggy? She also didn’t understand why she would befriend Vicki. If you are going to make friends with someone should it be a lady who perpetuated a story an entire television season about fake cancer?

I CAN’T LISTEN ANYMORE

You know who was really sick of talking to Vicki? Briana had become so accustomed to listening to her mother vent about Shannon and Tamra she began to envision herself mid-conversation in someone else’s body. It was only the sound of her sons begging to have her throw the pool ring back into the shallow end that she would mentally resurface. “Can’t you get lunch?” she asked her mother. “Oh, crap, I knew I forgot something,” Vicki would say as she sauntered off in her pool wedges.

BODY BACK

Meghan was thrilled to have back her pre-baby body and wanted to celebrate her achievement by wearing loose fitting clothes in a photo shoot. “Doesn’t my body look different?” she asked the annoyed man behind the camera lens. “Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” he responded. She had only gained enough weight to accommodate a placenta and some baby fluid. She was back to her paddleboard body by the time she had her first bowel movement.

BUTTERFLY

Peggy and Diko ate lunch at a restaurant and tried desperately to entertain their miserable waitress. “He thinks he’s a butterfly,” said Peggy after Diko flapped his slight fingers underneath his nose. The following day she met with Tamra for a bowl of egg whites. “I understand through Shannon you have problem with me, no?” she asked. Tamra tried to explain to her that she was unable to feel at ease with her thus far because she didn’t seem able to exhibit human emotion. “You always have a resting bitch face,” she explained. Weeks later after running through potential comebacks with Diko she told a producer that she wouldn’t make a face if Tamra weren’t a bitch.

PATRICK’S DAY

For St. Patrick’s Day Kelly, Shannon, Meghan, and the nanny/cousin enjoyed drinks at the Harp Inn. For Shannon, Meghan, and the nanny/cousin it was a day of acknowledgement for their Irish relatives. For Kelly it was another reason to escape Michael. After swallowing whiskey from the bottle Shannon and Kelly came to a resolution about the hurt they have caused each other. Shannon pulled on her sequin jazz performance blouse and explained how Vicki was poisoning her mind. Kelly countered that Tamra was destroying hers. They all had a good laugh, especially Meghan who was dressed like Jem from Jem and The Holograms.

Things that also happened in this episode:

  • Lydia’s son was worried she would die in a fire.
  • Kelly and Vicki had their chakras checked for abnormalities.
  • Vicki talked about her love for Jesus.

NEXT WEEK:

Everyone celebrates Bret Michael’s Day at a bar and Meghan breaks down in tears when Kelly reminds her to go home to her baby.

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap, Spartan Race, Tamra, Kelly, Shannon, Meghan

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