Show Recaps

Southern Charm Savannah Premiere Recap

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During the season premiere of Southern Charm Savannah blue-blood roots bond a close-knit group of friends in Savannah, Georgia. 

BLUE-BLOOD

Nelson Lewis Jr. and Ashley met as classmates at Savannah Country Day School, an elite school with a high tuition and number of students bred to be a-holes. “We were taught to have the “right” friends,” they both explained. “I don’t mean to sound egomaniacal,” said Nelson while licking the rim of his scotch glass, but he did because he was. His relatives were the kind of people who were mayors and lawyers and had sculptures of their faces in someone’s foyer. At one time he dreamt of becoming a politician until he moved to our nation’s capitol and learned that no one actually cares about Savannah blue-blood families unless you actually live in Savannah.

NELSON

Nelson had considered himself a comeback kid, years after an embarrassing attempt to impersonate a U.S. Congressman and Bahamian government official. He shared with a television reporter he had been named Minister Plenipotentiary for Artistic Endeavors for the Embassy of the Bahamas, apparently giving his new business card and e-mail address and inviting him to cover artistic events he was co-hosting. Now he was in home state wearing bowties, drinking cocktails, and reminding everyone his ancestors were a big deal.

HANNAH AND LOUIS

Louis was the Robert Kardashian of the south, forgoing a lucrative career managing other people’s money to shill foot covers. Hannah was his happy other half willing to make frat meals for his dude friends. She was from outside Savannah, which made her slightly low rent. “My high school played sports against Savannah Country Day,” she explained, which was like saying you played ping-pong against someone who went to Harvard.

ASHLEY

Ashley made a career as a fashion designer and traveled the world. It wasn’t until she heard Ray Charles’ Georgia On My Mind playing on a car radio in Dubai that she realized she should move back home. With a career highlight creating a mesh dress for the soon to be Queen of England she set up shop back in the town where she was once a chubby teenager who liked to skateboard. People were taken with her new curvaceous figure and aggressive swimming regimen, with the exception of her husband who would have preferred she kept on her clothes.

DANIEL

Daniel was a childhood prick who racked up his father’s credit card bills only to find out his life was built on a pile of embezzled cash. He somehow tucked in his tank top and tripled growth of his family’s law firm. (I am hoping his father was not an employee). He enjoyed working from home from his denim couch, playing Frisbee in the park in the middle of the afternoon, and setting his hair with mousse and hairspray.

SAVANNAH LOVE

Catherine and Lyle rekindled their high school relationship. “I remember all the times I dry humped Catherine in her parent’s linen closets and bathrooms,” he noted at a welcome back Lyle party she threw in her parent’s backyard. Her father bought a pig to roast for the occasion. She was living back in her parent’s house because they had retired to her grandmother’s non-plantation home. They had a deep love that no one could explain. She enjoyed his pleated pants and her inability to properly enunciate a sentence.

WELCOME BACK

At Lyle’s party Brandon, Catherine’s party planner, warned Nelson’s Slovak girlfriend to run into the highway and get a ride back to the airport. “Get out now,” he screamed, after reading through articles included in a Google search. Nelson, however, owned his past and noted foreign women were fine with his past. They were also totally accepting of his love for fabric textures and aromatherapy oils.

The next day the women met for drink, but before they could guzzle their cocktails Ashley was alerted her house was on fire. Happy, their unfortunately named gal pal, was left to take care of Ashley’s poorly disciplined dog. They were all hopeful her swimsuits were destroyed in the fire. Catherine asked for a to-go cup for her drink. “Can I get this drink to go? My friend’s house is on fire.” 

Southern Charm Savannah Premiere Recap, Ashley, Lyle, Catherine, Nelson

 

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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