Show Recaps

13 Observations: Southern Charm Savannah – Ashley

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This week on Southern Charm Savannah Happy had a bridal shower, Ashley played strip golf, and Catherine’s parents worried about her future.

13 Observations From Southern Charm Savannah This Week

ASHLEY

  1. Ashley admitted she is in a sexless marriage. This could explain why she enjoys disrobing and why her husband looks like he’s been held prisoner for years in a jungle. The sex ended once she gave birth to her son, so they divorced. The fact that she still did not want to have sex with him years later did not deter her from remarrying him.
  2. Although Ashley had just explained how disinterested she was in making out with Dennis, a house fire caused by a portable fan made her realize he wasn’t so bad after all, especially since he burned a layer of skin off his right leg.
  3. Ashley made arrangements for her house to be saged, because buying a house with a more reliable electrical system wasn’t a logical solution.
  4. Hannah and Catherine suggested to Ashley later that perhaps she was the reason her home was susceptible to a fire on the third floor, and not evil spirits. No one outwardly addressed Ashley’s obvious hoarding problem.
  5. Happy is an Episcopalian and her fiancée Adam is Muslim, which gives her uptight southern mother great pains. “Isn’t it great your daughter is so open minded?” Ashley asked Happy’s mother. Happy’s mother envisioned herself slapping Ashley across her face, but instead smiled and nodded.
  6. Happy’s mom hangs out with Deepak Chopra.
  7. Happy is now the proud owner of various plastic platters and cheese plates.
  8. Louis and Daniel participated in a round of strip golf with Ashley, a collegiate golf scholar. Hannah didn’t take the news well, mostly because she knew Louis has the maturity of a college freshman and because Ashley has a good body.
  9. Although Ashley performed a monologue about how proud she is of her saggy boobs and cellulite, Hannah noted she has had extensive plastic surgery.
  10. Ashley also ironically performed a monologue about hypocrisy.
  11. Catherine’s parents Chuck and Catherine Sr. love their daughter but worry that she lives in an alley, her apartment has limited square footage, and she doesn’t have much career ambition. “I’d like to go into event planning,” Catherine explained. “But you can barely get out of bed,” her mother replied. “Also, did you know that event planning requires planning an event?” 
  12. Lyle loves Catherine’s mother because she saw his potential, even when he smoked cigarettes behind the high school football stadium.
  13. Hannah’s father cheated on her mother. She took a highly coveted job in trucking sales so that she would never have to ask him for money.

NEXT WEEK:

Ashley digs herself another hole.

Southern Charm Recap, Ashley, Lyle, Louis

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Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

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