Show Recaps

Southern Charm Recap – Are You Sari

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This week on Southern Charm Craig and Naomie visited a therapist, Kathryn wrote a letter to Thomas, and Patricia hosted an Indian-inspired dinner with dog kaftans and more than one sari. 

ARE YOU SARI?

Thomas took Kenzie on a tour of Charleston’s most historic buildings, which of course his family owns. He reminded her, as he always does, that if it were not for the Ravenal family the world would implode.

Craig and Naomie agreed to meet with a couple’s counselor so they could work out the kinks in their relationship, like how Craig lives on Planet Delusion and Naomie refrains from pointing out all the times he exaggerates. As they sat on opposing couches a la $25,000 Pyramid they were confronted with the reality that their relationship requires work, much like the upkeep of the garden Craig build in their backyard. “He yells at me,” Naomie explained. “I don’t yell, it’s just how we talk in the north,” he replied. He’s right; we are loud.

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

Shep ran into Austen and Landon at a bar, which only heightened his belief that there was something brewing between them. Austen pushed Landon about her feelings about Thomas, which she assured him are bleak given his current custody battle. Shep pressed Austen about his romance with Chelsea. “She must have had second thoughts the next day, like who is this hippy loser?” he laughed. Once the redneck clothes were gone, so was the possibility of a long-term relationship. Austen explained the day after their quail-hunting romp in the sack Chelsea had assured him that they should just take things as they come. “So she’s basically like me,” noted Shep. Luckily, as he pointed out, there are plenty of yachts in the ocean.

FAMILY TIES

Thomas’ family created the Museum of the Confederacy, a place people can visit if they want to see the most depressing period of the city’s history. Thomas showed enlarged pictures of rotted wood windowpanes and floorboards to highlight the key renovation hiccups. With the aid of closed captioning (to transcribe Thomas’ father’s accent) it was understood Thomas has a complicated relationship with his father, which goes back to his parent’s divorce highlighted by a black and white photograph, presumably the first ever taken in the state of South Carolina.

ROMANCE

Chelsea and Austen spent a romantic date playing dodge ball. They kissed, culminating with a boner. Chelsea was heartbroken to hear Austen lost a sister when he was 7.

KAFTANS

Georgette Mosbacher, a red haired mega wealthy siren, flirted with the butler Michael while visiting Patricia and Whitney. She and Patricia began a company dedicated to printing photos of your dog on a bedazzled kaftan. Patricia assured Georgette that a dinner party in her honor would not go off the rails because everyone attending was southern.

NEW TIES

Kathryn went to Chelsea’s hair salon to get an updated headshot for her lackluster modeling career. It was the only hair salon open that day in Charleston. Kathryn explained to her new hairdresser/castmate she had two children with Thomas and that she had recently sent him a letter. It was not exactly a pen pal letter, but a letter of extension. Kathryn knew most of their problems were caused by his inability to trust that someone wouldn’t leave him. She thought she had done one good thing and that was provide a child Thomas could present to his unloving and unsupportive father. Thomas had never heard Kathryn apologize, and he most certainly had never heard her refer to herself as Katie. “Olive branch it back,” advised JD on the other side off town. Thomas sat back in his chair and looked at the ceiling.

SARI PARTY

At Patricia’s party Landon, Naomie, and Cameran wore saris, but Thomas wore a suit he wore on the campaign trail. Georgette was concerned everyone would want to talk about politics and sex and cuss. Michael served curry and slaw while wearing a turban. Georgette also offered relationship advice, including forgiveness. “Just forgive and move on,” she told Shep and Thomas. Georgette, of course, never met Kathryn (or Katie).

An Indian healer informed Cameran she would have a baby soon and would probably have three children total. She told Craig he would pass the bar and have his own law firm. She also said Naomie would be his soul mate, which surprised Shep. “Are you sure you are legit?” he wondered. She said Shep’s true fear is loneliness, which he respectfully disagreed. The healer told Landon there is a love connection in the room, but was not comfortable naming them. Craig’s eyeballs almost exploded out of his face. Whitney was destined to have a child, and before Patricia died.

The Indian healer (and Georgette) was unprepared for the reaction to Kathryn reaching out to Whitney for help back onto the show. Craig, as always, supported the loose cannon. Shep asked why everyone was so f—in stupid. “Really?” asked Georgette. She fled for the stairs. Cameran tried to explain to Shep and Craig that the best they could all do was stay out of Kathryn and Thomas’ business.

NEXT WEEK:

Elizabeth delivers a letter to Kathryn.

Southern Charm, Sari, Shep, Cameran, Chelsea, Patricia, Georgette

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Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

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