Real Housewives of New Jersey

Role Playing: Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap

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This week on Real Housewives of New Jersey the role playing exercise concluded, Dolores planned a charity event, and Siggy and Dolores confronted Teresa with a rumor they heard from Kim D.

ROLE PLAYING

The self-help weekend from hell concluded with a role playing exercise by a pit fire. Margaret may not have been fully committed to a full turtleneck, but she was committed to her acting craft. As she wailed about the cake massacre of Boca Raton, Siggy’s eyes welled with tears. She was seething deep down in her leggings, but she would pretend she had an Oprah a-ha moment for the sake of her business partner. Can you build a business for healing wounds when you are one big bleeding wound? She suppressed her anger by imitating Margaret while gripping her extensions in her hands. They came to some understanding that Siggy’s emotional baggage was born from the horrible name her parents bestowed upon her on the day of her birth. Most of her emotional triggers stemmed from the fact she would have preferred to be a Nancy, a Gail, or even a Margaret. “Imagine going through life as Siggy Flicker?”

Melissa confronted Siggy for humiliating her at her jewelry party. “Isn’t Melissa a garbage person?” Siggy asked her guests. “My intention was never to make you feel uncomfortable,” said Siggy. She saw nothing wrong with inviting someone to her home, pointing out their flaws before a bracelet presentation, and then offering them a glass of wine.

Danielle asked Teresa to apologize to her daughters for calling their mother a prostitution whore. It had been hard for them to forget the day they went to an Italian restaurant for spaghetti and one of their mom’s friends destroyed the dinner table. “Sure, I can do that,” said Teresa, her new highlights brightened by the sun. Dolores was surprised she came out unscathed.

TONGUES CAN BREAK BONES

They all agreed that words were painful. “In Italy we have a saying,” said Teresa, “that a tongue can break bones.” It reminded them also of the old Olive Garden saying, “when you’re here, you’re family.” With the exception of Teresa and Melissa these people were not family. They only pretended to like one another and only until cameras left.

That night as Margaret wept about her lost relationship with her stepchildren Dolores sat across the room with the face of someone who had just smelled a dead body. The others embraced her pain, while she recoiled. Rather than sharing anything personal she invited the others to a dog charity event she was hosting.

DOG CHARITY

Later that week as they dodged dog crap in a field, Danielle pointed out to Margaret that Siggy’s newfound clarity was a byproduct of selling her therapy business. “People said Danielle was a pot stirrer, but I appreciate her insight,” said Margaret. Melissa brought up the same point. “Danielle says that your acceptance was all an act,” said Melissa. Siggy denied it, but Dolores’ eye roll and forehead sweat told a different story.

CHARITY

Since Dolores and Siggy valued charity they agreed to walk in the annual Posche Fashion show, hosted by a boutique owner with heavy eyeliner and a Rapunzel weave. They shared this information after an afternoon spent trying on ill-fitted cocktail dresses paired with plastic stilettos. Melissa, who had invited the women to share wine, breadsticks, and the good news they would get a free trip to Milan, Italy paid by Bravo was outraged. Had they not understood the pain she suffered when her own sister-in-law coerced that same woman to call her a stripper on national television?

In an act of generosity Dolores added that Kim was also under the impression that Teresa had been sleeping with an old flame. (I mean, it was possible, she had not seen her jailed husband in three months). “How could you listen to that woman I coerced to call my sister-in-law a stripper on national television?” replied Teresa. (“No offense to you, Melissa,” said Teresa. “Oh, none taken,” Melissa replied).

This moment propelled Teresa to throw a glass of Chianti at a brick wall. Siggy and Dolores got up and left. The other diners thanked the owner for the evening performance, Margaret adjusted her pigtails, and Danielle sang a love ballad.

Also Notable: Joe took Milania to a go-cart spot.

NEXT WEEK:

The war has just begun.

Real Housewives of New Jersey, Recap, Role Playing, Siggy, Margaret, Dolores, Kim D, Teresa

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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