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Reality Star Explains How to Lose Baby Weight With a Diet Pill

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Dear New Moms,

You will be thrilled to know Kim Zolciak from Bravo’s Tardy For the Party and previously of Real Housewives of Atlanta is in this week’s issue of Star Magazine explaining to you how she’s lost all her baby weight. Kim, as you might already know, just gave birth earlier late last year to twins, rounding out her total offspring to 6.

If you are not familiar with Kim or her shows you need to know just this: she smokes cigarettes while pregnant and has been captured on national television undergoing laser lipo treatment while chewing on a piece of pizza. She’s also a woman rapidly approaching 40 whose uterus has been a baby nightclub. So it makes perfect sense that she would suit up in a designer jazzercise outfit months later and expect you to believe that the pounds just peeled off by working up a minimal amount of sweat.

“I don’t believe in diets – I eat in moderation. I also workout, doing 30 minutes of cardio and weights, and I had help from Xenadrine to get me through my workouts. 

Did you hear that, women who have recently pushed a human out of your lady cavity? If you run around the block with some ankle weights and pop some pills you too can get right back into your fighting shape. (White leotard, gold swimming belt, fake tan, and wig sold separately).

Sure, you can go the usual route of doing an hour of spin classes, subsiding on a steady diet of green juice and boiled chicken breasts, and doing push ups off a wall. It can get the job done, but it might take a year and all of your patience. Or you can you can do water aerobics and get hopped up on speed.

It’s really your call.

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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