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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Last Dance

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The women had gathered at the 100th anniversary of the birth of the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce from the womb of the state of California at a hotel pool in the city. Resplendent in clip on hairpieces and glitter manicures they joined together to say goodbye to what can only be seen as a triumphant season of non-truth telling and hair fights. Lisa had not seen anyone since her quick exit from the Puerto Rican resort to a neighboring Puerto Rican resort. And she was sad about it. But not in a way that she necessarily wanted to make up with any of her fake friends. But in the kind of way that she wanted everyone to get off her nuts until the reunion had aired and she could reestablish alliances based on anyone who may or may not be kicked off the show and replaced. Like, for example, Yoyce or Carlton. And though Mauricio tried to get some answers from Ken about whether Lisa was feeding information to the tabloids he could never get answers either. What we did learn was that Brandi will never understand why a 52-year old woman would be a better friend to a 30-year-old waitress with a black tooth. We learned that Kyle and Yoyce enjoy tequila. We learned that David Foster would never hang out with Ken and Lisa. And we learned Ken uses a round hairbrush to get the feathered hair presentation.

So we must wait until the reunion to understand how Lisa is capable of manipulating media conglomerates and the ex-wife of Eddie Cibrian but can’t win Dancing With the Stars. We must wait to understand why Yolanda decided to free herself from the hair extensions that made her skull bleed. We must wait to understand why the necklace Kyle gave Carlton disappeared from Yoyce’s front porch. We must wait to find out if Meatloaf will spend this summer on tour.

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Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

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