Real Housewives of Orange County

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Desert Weekend

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This week on Real Housewives of Orange County Shannon and David vacationed in Mexico, the women minus Heather spent a weekend in Palm Springs, and Kelly and Heather worked out their differences before a trip to Glamis.

BIRTHDAY WEEKEND

To mark the anniversary off her birth Vicki wanted to be surrounded by her family and the housewives pretending to like her in a gigantic home on a 39-acre plot near Palm Springs for a weekend. “I don’t know who Merv Griffin is, but I hope he’s single,” noted Kelly of the estate’s deceased mogul owner. She invited Shannon but she had fled to Mexico to bask in the joy of renewing her marital vows. “My mom wasn’t invited?” questioned Briana. Understandably an invitation was not extended. So what if she embellished an illness? Why should that get in the way of someone buying you a blender?

“I wish Shannon and David the best with their vow renewal,” Vicki explained, “but it didn’t work out for me and Donn.” In other words, you can buy yourself matching white gowns and agree to marry someone you are already legally married to, but that doesn’t mean squat. “I feel sorry for David because he will pay for that affair for the rest of his life.” 

NO REGRETS

Shannon didn’t feel like she missed out on the Palm Springs weekend because she was too busy filming David get into a bathtub without clothes, which they would consider posting onto YouTube. See everyone! We are so happy! We are eating guacamole in a stone bathtub.

BETTER TERMS

Tamra and Vicki had been on better terms, it wasn’t like the old days when they both sold wine, but it wasn’t as bad as the last reunion when Vicki looked drugged. Although she had concerns about Kelly’s sanity Tamra was happy to enjoy dinner and conversation with her. She had, it seemed, made peace with the time Kelly called her a dumb f——. In a phone call made to Heather from a bedroom she acknowledged Kelly was not interested in becoming a member of Heather Dubrow’s world. “She always talks to me like this,” Kelly said as her lips recoiled and she pushed her teeth forward. “Don’t act like you are a hierarchy,” she added as Briana’s eyeballs nearly fell out of her face “There is something I like about Kelly,” said Tamra, “but then she opens her mouth and you wonder if she ever thinks before she speaks.” It was the reason Heather asked her to leave someone else’s party the week before.

Kelly knew she may have gone too far when she went from normal to bat shit crazy before entrees were served. She acknowledged this in a text message her mother wrote to Heather when she was passed out from margaritas a few nights prior. She didn’t understand why Heather couldn’t just move on. Yeah, I get you worry about how stable I am, but the least you could do was laugh at my emojis and send me one back.

MICHAEL

In order to assess the situation better Kelly asked Michael, Vicki’s mostly mute son what he would do if someone who is not hosting a party asked him to leave. He looked past her and cracked his neck. “Good talk, Michael,” said Vicki. He had seen too much in the last decade living in his mom’s house and now selling insurance out of her office. Better not say anything otherwise you will loose an eardrum, which an airport shuttle driver could attest to.

Tamra explained to Kelly that Heather had some concerns about bring her son to a Bravo arranged outing to a sand dune in the middle of the sticks where you drive ATVs. “Can you go without cursing in front of her son?” she asked. “I am a mother,” said Kelly. “Don’t you think I am careful around my kids,” she replied while viewers reflected on the first episode when she discussed tossing a salad.

POOL

Later that afternoon Meghan arrived during a drunken pool party. Kelly noted it was easier to like Vicki under the influence. “I think I am pregnant,” Meghan announced lifting her shirt to reveal absolutely no visible proof of an embryo transfer.

As an aside, Briana’s husband Ryan joyfully also surprised Briana and their sons in Palm Springs that weekend . Vicki may had been momentarily without a boyfriend (she has co-dependency issues one could say), but she was happy Briana was within driving range. Editorial note: I wept.

DINNER

Back in Orange County Heather followed through on a request from Tamra to meet Kelly for dinner. She found her abhorrent, but she liked the champagne menu at The Deck.

Heather began the dinner by announcing she was tired. I don’t have a lot of time, Bruno Mars, so let’s wrap this up so I can go back to Terry and the kids. (He was actually home, something she kept noting never happened any more).

Heather: “Let me lay it out on the table. I did at one point like you but at the sushi dinner I was confronted with screaming and vulgarity, which I am not accustomed to on a normal basis. I felt like I was suffocating and I had to leave.” 

Kelly: “I was shocked that you got so upset at me. It was a nightmare and I am ashamed of myself to be quite honest.”

Heather: “Can I tell you where I am coming from? When I left I found out you imitated me.” (An imitation Tamra found very funny).

Kelly: “Because you told me to leave. You waved your finger in circles. It wasn’t your jam, man. Then you said you don’t want me around your kids.”

Heather: “I never said that.” (Tamra nodded, yes, you did).

Kelly: “Can you understand how that made me feel?”

Tamra: “My bad, whoops. My fault.”

Kelly: “I have never been inappropriate around kids. I felt like I was attacked, and I had alcohol, and I had my period, and I hate sushi. I don’t just attack people.”

For the trip’s sake they agreed to move forward, but Heather had mounting doubts.

NEXT WEEK:

They head to the dunes.

Real Housewives of Orange County, Recap, Desert Weekend, Kelly, Heather

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2 Comments

  1. Leslie

    September 2, 2016 at 8:17 pm

    Somebody needs to get this crazy kelly and her stupid lips off the show! The way shes always doing her lips is disgusting! Take her off the show!!!!!

  2. Ellie

    September 6, 2016 at 11:01 pm

    I thk
    Megan is self centered & did not even consider going to see Vicki. Briana had developed a hospital acquired infection @ her last surgery, along wth having a suppressed immunity & being presently acutely ill & having two toddlers in tow which all of this made it impossible for her to be with Vicki. Megan gad golf plans also being wth Jim does not bring out the best in either one if them. No chemistry or true passion. Until u r in this situation as Vicki was of being completely alone & no ways or means home u will never understand what it’s like. I am almost positive that the hospital had to pay for tge car home as Vicki had no $ on her. It didn’t hav to be that way, I believe Megan is horrible human being.

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