Real Housewives of Orange County

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Glamis

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This week on Real Housewives of Orange County Tamra, Vicki, Heather, and Kelly traveled to Glamis to celebrate Eddie’s birthday. On the second day an accident occurs and Meghan and Shannon decline to come to Vicki’s aid.

GLAMIS

For Eddie’s birthday Tamra invited the other women to join them in Glamis, an unincorporated community in Imperial County, California surrounded by sand dunes. Meghan and Shannon politely declined citing doctors’ orders on the grounds of new embryo implementation and bronchial issues. “Is Kelly coming?” Shannon asked. “Oh, yeah, I just remembered my doctor says I have a hack lung.”

UPGRADE

Heather ordered a luxury trailer so that she and her 10-year-old son could withstand two days away from the comfort of their chateau. She was saddened to find it was unlike the movie trailers she had enjoyed for so many years on straight-to-Blockbuster movie and quickly cancelled television sets. Though the walls expanded giving more dance space in the kitchen/living area it lacked the fine fabrics, gold faucets, and marble flooring she had grown to enjoy. Her personal chef provided meals so that she and her son wouldn’t have to share a bag of Fritos or drink from the same bottle of Mountain Dew. It was, of course, what Terry would have wanted.

NOT INCLUDED

Vicki was happy to get away from the insurance office and more delighted Shannon wouldn’t be part of the birthday weekend. She was still harboring resentment for not being included in the wedding vow renewal from the previous episode. “I am still floating on air,” Shannon told Tamra that week of her obviously not a surprise birthday/wedding/honeymoon storyline.

MOVING

Shannon would instead pretend to golf with David and figure out how to hire movers to move their belongings from one oversized home to another. “Don’t they say moving is one of life’s three most stressful life situations?” David asked. She didn’t have the heart to remind him having your husband carry on affair ranked higher.

WIND BREAKER

Kelly and her Michael purchased windbreakers from a discount store off the 55 Freeway. She had never been camping, but never missed an opportunity to drink margaritas in the blazing sun. She was happy her daughter Jolie would join her, but couldn’t say the same for husband Michael. She looked forward to moments when he could detach himself from her belt buckle.

IS SHE DRUNK?

Since the driver Heather had hired was unfamiliar with a GPS system they arrived late to the campgrounds. Her RV was covered in Kelly’s vomit and was not stocked with the correct mineral water and organic watermelon, but she was happy to have time with her son. She did, however, have concerns about bringing him on a trip surrounded by television cameras and a housewife with various emotional triggers. “Keep him away from Kelly,” she would whisper into her mic. “Is that woman drunk?” her 10 year-old asked as she ran into a dune. “No, honey,” Heather assured him, “she’s always nuts.”

ACCIDENT

The next day whilst on a dune buggy adventure the motorized vehicle Tamra was driving flipped sending all of the women into spins. Kelly’s helmet flew off and Vicki and Tamra became injured. As Kelly held Vicki’s head in her hands she began to vomit. Paramedics rushed to the scene and a helicopter transported Vicki to Palm Springs hospital.

Heather and Kelly gathered together momentarily forgetting they secretly hated each other and took solace in the fact they had all survived a traumatic event. They wondered if Meghan who had been spending the weekend with Shannon in La Quinta golfing (the air quality was fine) could drive 45 minutes away to the hospital to make sure Vicki wouldn’t have to be alone in her time of agony.

HEARTLESS

Meghan thought for a second if that was necessary. She hated Vicki and with all that she had been through in the previous day getting a miniscule amount of blood drawn from my forearm was it worth risk to her newly implanted baby? She turned to Jim to get his support. He, as always, had been staring at a wall wondering how soon he could get back to the airport. “Can’t you guys go see her?” she asked. They tried to explain to her that they were three hours away and nursing their own injuries. But Meghan wanted to finish her apple crisp and meet up with Jim’s friends at shuffleboard.

NEXT WEEK:

Meghan goes down.

Real Housewives of Orange County, Glamis, Vicki, Tamra, Kelly

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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