Real Housewives of Orange County

Armenian Rhapsody: Real Housewives of OC Recap

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This week on Real Housewives of Orange County Peggy and Diko celebrated their anniversary at an Armenian restaurant, Vicki and Tamra met for 3 minutes at a café, and Lydia bragged about her inheritance.

ARMENIAN RHAPSODY

CALM DOWN

Vicki and Tamra met for iced tea at a café filled with high school students. They were unable to come to an agreement about who was most responsible for the demise of their friendship. While archival footage proved there were moments in the past that they did not want to strangle each other, they both lacked the commitment to build a Bravo bridge. “In your mind you have been kind to me,” said Vicki while swirling fingers in circles around her ears. “What does that mean?” asked Tamra whose body was already headed towards the exit. “Calm down,” she told Vicki, “It’s not a good look.”

Tamra just didn’t understand why Vicki would say Eddie was gay. “Why would either of us want to be married to someone who has no interest in having sexual intercourse?” she asked. Vicki shrugged her large shoulders. “Maybe he was using you?” Vicki replied. “For what?” Tamra asked. “Maybe a gym?” Yes, that was it. Eddie gave up a lucrative salary at a law firm to marry a woman he was not sexually attracted to so that he could own an exercise studio. He had to forgo physical compatibility so he could sell fitness packages.

Vicki called her boyfriend, a man who would never fulfill her the way Brooks Ayers had done before him. “Tamra wants to win,” said Steve. “It’s time to move on.” She would never move on.

PARIS HILTON RICH

Lydia and her mom shopped for sweaters and jewelry. “Isn’t it wonderful you have stacks of cash now?” she said to her mother while her hands danced in the wind above her head. After the death of her grandfather her mother received a sizable settlement leaving them with “Paris Hilton” money. “It’s like Monopoly when I am with my mom,” bragged Lydia. “She gets me whatever I want.” Her mother was grateful that if she was going to have a birthday it might as well be 69.

LET IT GO

Kelly’s parents prepared a salad in her kitchen. Watching them argue reminded her that it was probably best she split with Michael. Shouldn’t her daughter see a happy mom?

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Peggy and Diko celebrated 22 years of marriage by throwing an Armenian themed party at a restaurant. It was the 764th time they have mentioned they are Armenian (Diko is Lebanese). The highlight of the evening was watching a belly dancer gyrate in front of Doug who was still recovering from his vasectomy, and in tight pants nonetheless. “Is their son watching,” asked Lydia. He was actually in the corner providing life guidance to Vicki. “No one here likes me,” she told Koko. “Do you know where my mom is?” he replied.

Kelly sat at a table with Tamra and Shannon, which caused Vicki enormous emotional stress. It was hard enough walking into the restaurant with heels, having no one to sit beside during the passing of appetizers was more than she could take. She adjusted her cocktail dress and looked for the restroom. She avoided the mosh pit in the middle of the Armenian restaurant in the process.

As Peggy danced in small circles her husband asked Shannon why David had interrogated him at the we-will-actually-not-leave-port party. “Talk to my husband,” said Shannon who began shaking rapidly. Tamra knew that this small conversation would result in at least 12 phone calls in a 24-hour period. Shannon would not let this go.

NEXT WEEK:

I might fall asleep.

Real Housewives of Orange County, Recap, Armenian, Peggy,  Shannon, Tamra, Vicki

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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