Real Housewives of New Jersey

Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Recap: Rabies

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During the second part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion Teresa called Jacqueline a wolf with rabies, Siggy cried, Dolores silently judged, and Melissa and Teresa held hands. 

15 Most Memorable Moments From Reunion Part Two

RABIES

  1. The sweat between the women’s breasts and arm flaps had increased in the last few hours of the reunion. Teresa’s stomach quietly screamed from beneath her Jessica McClintock gown. The slit up the slide of Jacqueline’s Daytime Emmy dress had risen up to her lady pocket. The weight of the top of Dolores’ quincierra dress was giving her heart palpitations. Siggy’s fan provided the only air conditioning.
  2. Chris Laurita responded to Teresa’s claim that Jacqueline was involved in her criminal probe. He had been called by someone who wanted info and asked to be connected to Joe Giudice who promptly told the guy to ram it where the sun don’t shine. Chris threw his hands in the air and noted he was not interested in being involved. It was unknown who the guy who knows another guy who did business with that guy was, but he might appear next season if needed.
  3. Chris denied Jacqueline was ever an exotic dancer.
  4. “She sucks!” Melissa cried as she pointed at Jacqueline. “She will tell all of your secrets!” she told Siggy and Dolores. She was distressed that the information of her nasal plastic surgery procedure became public, especially since she would need to explain it to her daughter. It was bad enough her daughter could look back to archival footage of their son’s baptism party and note the marked difference in her mother’s face.
  5. Joe Gorga was unfazed by the current storylines of the season. His family problems of previous years had nearly destroyed him, so a shitty spa trip to Vermont wasn’t that big of a deal.
  6. Teresa is unfamiliar with various terms in the English dictionary and the correct alignment of quotation marks.
  7. Andy has never had a colonic.
  8. Joe Giudice has lost 35 pounds, it is uncertain if it because of Jenny Craig, Atkins, or the South Beach Diet. There are also remnants of a 6-pack, much like the old days when he could do full splits.
  9. Teresa didn’t have that much of a problem when Joe referring to her as the “c” word because it was said behind her back even though it aired on national television.
  10. Rosie and Kathy will probably never appear on TV again.
  11. Teresa called Jacqueline a wolf with rabies.
  12. Jacqueline regretted allowing Melissa and Joe to brainwash her.
  13. Siggy reminded everyone you need gasoline to maintain a friendship.
  14. Siggy also noted everyone on the sofas was an excellent mom, most notably herself.
  15. She forced everyone to hug.

Real Housewives of New Jersey, Rabies, Teresa, Jacqueline

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