Real Housewives of New York

Trust Tom: Real Housewives of New York Recap

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This week on Real Housewives of New York Dorinda invited all the women to her home in the Berkshires and they all questioned how much Luann should trust Tom.

FOR SALE

Fredrik of Million Dollar Listing New York ripped Bethenny apart for having a clutter filled apartment. It was a refreshing change since Bethenny is the one usually ripping someone else’s eyeballs out.

OLD LADY

Ramona visited Carole’s apartment downtown, immediately noting she had too many eyeglasses in a bowl. She refrained commentary on the couch that had been destroyed by cats or the stairs without a railing. Ramona explained a friend named “Ann” had just been groped by Tom a week before and had a series of texts to prove it. Though Carole mentioned Tom seemed overjoyed by their upcoming wedding she was still reeling from Luann’s friend Barbara explaining to her over auction items that Luann would rather just go through with the wedding and get divorced later.

LOVE

The problem was Luann liked being married. She liked someone who shared her “open-minded” opinion about marriage. She loved that she could get up in the middle of the night and watch old Real Housewives of New York reruns and Tom wouldn’t mind, especially because he probably appeared in several old episodes in the background. She didn’t give two shits that he might be cheating. Luann just wanted to live in the middle of a never-ending episode of Say Yes To The Dress.

Luann and Tom were getting married in only two weeks. She didn’t have time to shuffle through all the text messages in his phone and she didn’t have the wherewithal to go through all the receipts in his wallet and pants pockets. She had to think about table settings and whether Noel would breakdance at the reception. As they clenched hands on a morning walk with their dog in the rain she admired his runner legs and he noted dogs and men piss on trees to mark their territory. These two were practically sprinting to the aisle.

BERKSHIRES

Dorinda invited them all to her home in the Berkshires so they could celebrate her birthday and the birth of Christ. Ramona and Sonja arrived first insisting their driver bring in their luggage and for Dorinda to adjust the temperature. “I get it that some of you have hormonal issues, but this is frigid,” said Ramona. It was menopause shaming at its finest form.

MOMMY

Tinsley would join them later after a lunch with her mother Dale in New York City. Dale, a regal Southern woman decorated with brooches came to the city with a suitcase full of designer clothes and her ex-husband’s ashes. “Do you want to go see Daddy?” she asked her daughter who walked up to a monogrammed box in the hotel’s dining area. “Remember when I would come home from school and you would only show me affection if I was skinny?” asked Tinsley. She adored her mother even though she practically gave her an eating disorder and pushed her to wear makeup in preschool. Dale urged her daughter to start dating men in their 50s, whom she referred to as dead sexy. Tinsley was open to the idea since she freezed her eggs.

CONNOR

The next morning they gathered in Dorinda’s kitchen to admire her deformed birthday cake and each other’s fur vests. Tinsley and Sonja had some underlining tension over the terms with which Tinsley was allowed to speak to Sonja’s assistant Connor. She was, for example, allowed to ask him about the weather or if he had ever used one of Sonja’s toasters. She was not allowed to ask him to accept packages for her at the front door. “If Connor is helping you at the front door he is unavailable for me, don’t you understand this?” Sonja yelled. She couldn’t grasp how a girl raised with a staff in a southern mansion didn’t have the decency to bring her fruit baskets, invite her out for drinks, and at the very least not abuse the intern whom they also shared living space?

ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND

Bethenny and Carole arrived shortly thereafter. Dennis, Bethenny’s boyfriend, sent her a bouquet of flowers to remind her that she would just need to film for 36 hours and then could return back to his loving arms. “He knows I needed floral support,” said Bethenny. They quickly fled to a spare room and mutually decided Luann must know more about Tom’s infidelity. “I heard he has another girlfriend,” said Bethenny. They agreed it was best to share the news with Dorinda because last year’s intervention had destroyed Bethenny’s edit.

DO YOU TRUST HIM?

Downstairs they all explained to Dorinda her job. “You said next time we should come to you with information, so we are doing so,” they explained. “Really, but its my birthday,” Dorinda replied. She didn’t think it was possible Tom could be having an affair since Luann practically lived in his running pants pocket. After they decorated Christmas cookies no one would eat because they contained carbohydrates Dorinda pulled Luann who had just arrived into the den.

Dorinda: “You know these girls are still talking. They say Tom is still with other women.”

Luann: “Do these women have anything else to do?”

Everyone Watching This Show: “Not really.”

Dorinda: “Do you want to check up on these rumors, maybe check his phone?”

Luann: “Do you check John’s phone?”

Dorinda: “Yes, of course. Sometimes I drug him so I can go through his house too.”

Luann: “I don’t feel like I need to do that. I don’t care what these women say.”

Dorinda: “Do you trust Tom?”

Luann: “Yes, of course.”

Dorinda: Just promise me in your heart you are fully confident, that you have total trust in him.”

Luann: “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with Tom.”

She said her peace.

NEXT WEEK:

No one can understand why Tom has so many girlfriends and Ramona and Bethenny debate their friendship.

Trust, Real Housewives of New York, Luann, Tom, Dorinda

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Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

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