Real Housewives of New York
A New Low: Real Housewives of New York Recap
This week on Real Housewives of New York the women head to the Hamptons for a weekend of fun, but Ramona hits a new low when confronting Bethenny about an old video showing her boobs.
A NEW LOW
Sonja would have liked to stay with Ramona in the Hamptons, but that couldn’t happen. Dorinda had already agreed to occupy the spare bedroom, the one that used to house Mario’s tennis trophies and wholesale religious trinkets. Normally it would have been fine, someone would have agreed to sleep in a cot in the hallway or outside on the back patio, but now Dorinda loathed Sonja. There was no way they could share the same house that weekend, especially with the election days away. Hadn’t the country suffered enough that early November?
In the last few months Sonja had gone on a rampage posting salacious comments about Dorinda and John in Facebook groups. Because Dorinda’s friend may or may not have worked in the intelligence community she received copies of those statements in a Power Point presentation. So to ask Dorinda to share a bathroom or sit across from Sonja at a breakfast nook was unthinkable. To add insult to injury Sonja was traveling with her new housemate Tinsley, the former socialite gone Fatal Attraction. There was not enough body lotion and pinot grigio to accommodate all of them under one room.
LET IT GO
“Just let it go,” Tinsley wisely counseled Sonja on her non-relationship with Tom. It was not something Sonja could easily let go. At some points in her recent life, mostly when she returned to her townhouse in the city in an Uber at 2:30 in the morning with her pantyhose in her satchel, she considered Tom a possible life partner. Maybe, if she pasted enough magazine cutouts on her vision board he would propose and they could live in an apartment decorated with leather furniture and monogrammed cookie jars? That of course never happened. Now she had to come to terms with the fact the entire season of the show would be centered on the D’Agostino nuptials.
Despite this Sonja really believed she would be invited to the wedding. She banged the groom and hated the bride, but she still thought she’d be a bridesmaid. In fact she somehow swindled a spot at the New York-based bachelorette party, allowing herself to be rubbed up on by a fireman stripper. “See, guys, I’m really supportive of this wedding!” she squealed as one often dancers body slammed her.
“I miss Dorinda,” Sonja told Tinsley once they broke into her friend’s Hamptons home. “We’ve had some great laughs,” she added while testing out each bedroom’s bed creak factor. “Will you be happy if they become my friends?” asked Tinsley about Luann and Sonja. “Oh, God, of course,” Sonja replied while staring out a window.
Dorinda, however, didn’t give two shits about Sonja. Once she accused Dorinda of mixing synthetic and silk it was over. Now she just had to contain herself at Ramona’s pre-election cocktail party. She’d be cordial, and then she would throat punch her.
At Little Red restaurant Bethenny and Carole sat down for dinner, a forced meeting required in their Bravo contract. Ramona had just spent the weekend with Avery in Virginia attending her sorority/parent gala. “Her college friends just adore me, they consider me just one of the girls,” she explained to them while shoving her cell phone in their face. “Why haven’t you told me I look gorgeous?” Ramona asked Bethenny. “You haven’t said I look just like my daughter?” Bethenny took a deep breath and tried to envision herself back in the acupuncturist’s office with cups of fire branding her back.
Before the appetizers were served Ramona asked Bethenny if she had explained to her 6 year old daughter that she had starred in a “soft porn” film nearly 25 years ago. “Um, no,” Bethenny replied, “it hasn’t really come up because she’s in the first grade.” Ramona’s eyes grew wide and she settled back into her seat. She explained that the video, which had been posted on Radar Online, would likely be an issue should her daughter attend a private school. “I am sure this has come up,” she noted. “Yes, Diane Sawyer interviewed her last week about it before princess tea time,” replied Bethenny. Dorinda and Carole looked on in horror while Luann’s smile spread across her face. It was a new low, even for Ramona.
NOT THE TOP OF THE LIST
Ramona could not get past the fact Bethenny remained restrained. “I thought the movie was funny and I am proud of it because I had great boobs. I showed it to Carole this week, much like she shared with me (and the acupuncturist) that she has toe fungus.” Ramona wouldn’t stop. “You have porn all over the Internet, I would think you would want to talk about it,” said Ramona. But of all the things Bethenny worried about that week a video of her with great boobs from 25 years ago wasn’t the top of the list.
As Ramona and Luann complained about Bethenny she reminded them she could hear every word. “I am here, you know,” she said with no facial movement and dead eyes. “Do you two think I care about what you think about me?” asked Bethenny. “We know you don’t care about us, you don’t care about anybody but yourself,” replied Luann. “Let’s face it, this stuff has been in the papers,” explained Ramona. “She (Bethenny) is being a BI.” It was unclear what being a BI meant.
Bethenny got up and left. Why wait for the flat bread pizza when someone has called you a witch? Luann was surprised because she had made it a point to suffer through Bethenny’s tirades including the one given while staying at Dorinda’s Berkshires estate last season. “You can’t take the heat?” Perhaps Bethenny didn’t like to highlight any cracks? Or maybe she thought the restaurant had shitty calamari?
The next evening they gathered at Ramona’s house for dinner. All hell was about to cut loose.
NEXT WEEK: Dorinda loses her mind over dinner.
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