Real Housewives of Dallas

Real Housewives of Dallas Recap: The End

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On the season finale of Real Housewives of Dallas, Leeanne and her mother attended therapy, and Brandi was forced to end her friendship with Leeanne. 

THE END

Leeanne threw herself an engagement party and invited almost everyone she despised. She had not spoken to her mother who abandoned her at the age of 2, but she was invited. She thought Cary was a hateful person and her husband ran a body factory, but they still got an invite. She thought Stephanie suffered from multiple personality disorder, but she was thrilled to include her in this momentous occasion too. She didn’t have much of a budget. “D’Andra was born with a silver spoon in her mouth,” said the woman with too many E’s in her name, “but I was born with a corn dog in mine.”

MARGARET

Leanne’s mother Margaret had softened in her most recent years. “If you met her you would think she was a lovely woman,” explained Leeanne with a clenched jaw and eyes that rolled back into her head. She had kept all of Leeanne’s most prized possessions including her pageant sashes in boxes and cases. “If you saw her house, wherever that may be,” said Leeanne, “you would think it was a shrine, like I was dead,” which made sense because she basically considered her just that. “I only saw my mother in the summer during carnival season,” said Leeanne. Those were the months she toured the United States serving funnel cakes and running dartboard booths.

During Margaret’s stay Leeanne entertained her at the home of her mental health specialist. “I am terrified of saying anything to you,” Margaret told her daughter, “because anything I say makes you angry.” They had a moment of clarity when it was revealed that her mother cried for every moment she left her in the home of her grandmother so that she could earn a living.

STEPHANIE

Stephanie’s money pit was slowly becoming a Las Vegas nightclub.

FERTILITY WINDOW

Brandi and her husband had six months to make a baby because her fertility window was closing. “So let me get this straight,” he asked, “I can either get it on regularly or shoot some junk into a cup.” She smiled and nodded. She so enjoyed the idea of bringing into the world another child to destroy her kitchen with confetti. She loved being a mother and relished in the small moments like baking inedible muffins in a waffle iron or explaining to Brinkley that little people don’t work for Santa. It had been a painful year, but things were looking better.

USED

Stephanie and Cary asked for Brandi to meet them for lunch so they could understand why in the world she would befriend someone who seemed a little crazy. “Let me start by saying I am sorry for saying that you were the nanny who slept with your boss who is now your husband,” said Brandi. “That is not you,” said Stephanie. “I know you and the person I know is much better than that.” Cary noted Leeanne was a mental wizard able to convince people to sabotage their own friendships. Brandi realized she had been used.

TAKE OVER

D’Andra met with her mother Dee at the most outdated office space in Texas to discuss the fact the main ingredient in her new age-defying slather was not yet available. “Where is the L-22?” asked Dee. “Where in the world is L-22?” As D’Andra tried desperately to explain that the product was stuck in Europe her mother reminded her that lemons make delicious lemonade. Then she offered her the family company. “You’ve got to take on this responsibility, but just remember that I will always be here for you and in my heart I believe you will be a bigger success than me.” They cried into the each other’s brocade jackets.

BIRKIN

Cary got a Birkin and a matching wallet for her anniversary.

ENGAGEMENT PARTY

Kameron was impressed by Leeanne’s engagement party. She had expected a hot dog rotisserie and someone standing on a box. She regaled the others about her dog food business and how she once saw a star in the sky. Leeanne introduced the man who renovated her chest and took care of her flesh eating bacteria to her estranged mother. Leeanne thanked all of her friends and non-friends for coming to salute her, as she stood by the love of her life in a hideous dress. Before the night ended Leeanne warned Brandi that if she ever betrayed her she would slit her throat.

BRUNCH

After explaining to the guests the meaning of an engagement brunch they all argued with Leeanne, who swore on a grandmother’s bible. “Thank you for having me,” said Brandi as she left in a speed walk. “She knows you won’t try to kill her, right,” asked Kameron. Leeanne took a deep breath and reminded herself where she kept her knife set.

UPDATES:

Dee gave D’Andra the family business, and then asked her to hand it back over after 24 hours. Cary returned to work after a three week stint as a stay at home mother. Kameron is selling her dogs on a website somewhere. Travis complains about how much money Stephanie spends. Brandi still telsl nasty jokes. Leeanne disinvited Brandi from her wedding.

Real Housewives of Dallas recap, Leeanne

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