Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Stronger

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In the season 8 premiere of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump chartered a private jet to Las Vegas for a group birthday celebration, Teddi was introduced to the group, and the women debated whether their friendships were stronger than ever. 

STRONGER

Some things had changed since the last Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion.

DORIT

Dorit had not forgiven Lisa Rinna for suggesting she lives in a coke den. She had spent four months in Miami bonding with the kids she had given birth to, but ignored during filming because her rental home was under renovation. Gone were the brick back patio walls and sparsely decorated kitchen to make way for mirrors large enough to stare at her own hair. The hair, it should be said, had a life of its own managed by a team of stylists with access to the world’s finest hair extensions and clip-on bangs. A makeup artist ensured her skin was supple and dewy and sprinkled with an angel’s bag of glitter. Dorit now traveled with a driver named Juan.

ERIKA

Erika’s career exploded with requests for her autobiography, musical albums, television dance performances, and a parody on Saturday Night Live. “Tom didn’t watch it,” said Erika of a skit featuring Chris Pine lip-syncing to her song about expensive items. It was unclear if it was because he was disinterested or took Nyquil PM. Nevertheless her best friend/choreographer/management consultant/fashion stylist Mikey was still on hand to provide her with much needed support. She would need it as she was once again was faced with Dorit who told her the previous season she lacked a human heart. “Tell me something I don’t know,” Erika flatly replied.

KYLE AND LISA

Kyle and Lisa continued to share a great friendship based on a mutual love for material things. Neither ate carbohydrates and kept secret the ways they were able to reverse time on their faces.

It was Kyle’s idea to celebrate all the summer birthdays with a short jaunt to Beverly Hills on a private jet. “Super relatable!” said everyone watching this show. Somehow they would all be forced to get along since it was a free trip and a night in sin city would undoubtedly remind them of all the things they had in common, like plastic surgery, starvation diets, and shopping addictions.

LISA RINNA

Lisa Rinna would have to come late. She had essentially become Amelia and Delilah’s manager making sure they arrive on time to business appointments, get cortisone shots in their faces for acne, and are never without access to a hydration treatment. “It is my responsibility to make sure they are not totally enamored with themselves.”

TEDDI

The new gal Teddi was one degree of separation from Dorit. They had similarly aged children, which made it convenient when cameras filmed a music together class at Teddi’s multi-million dollar home and not in a community center. It was what you would expect of someone whose father is the American hero John Mellencamp. (Editorial note: I almost asked John Mellencamp to walk me down the aisle). She grew up the privileged daughter of a world-renowned musician, but she valued a dollar. She was keenly aware her father was famous, but it didn’t dictate her life. She spent her childhood riding horses and her adulthood running up hills and doing low impact aerobics. She met her husband on a one-night stand. Dorit figured she would like Lisa Vanderpump because they both liked animals.

LAS VEGAS

After a plane ride marred by Lisa Vanderpump kicking over Kyle’s $14,000 purse filled with toothbrushes and pill bottles the women arrived at their suites at The Bellagio. After dressing in sequins they sat down for a cocktail. Camille, who was still exhausted from a vacation to Hawaii, asked what beef Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump had with the others. Kyle noted Harry Hamlin had an odd exchange with her on a mountain while on a hike. He was unhappy with her sister after the bunny rabbit debacle. She spoke to no one about the occurrence. She figured she would just try to keep her friendship with Lisa Rinna separate from Kim.

Dorit walked through the door with her inflated breasts sitting high on her chest. She complained Kyle had no butler and then looked horrified once Kyle opened the door and revealed Lisa Rinna standing at the door.

NEXT WEEK:

Dorit and Lisa Rinna meet on a balcony.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap, Stronger, Teddi, Erika, Lisa, Kyle, Dorit

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