Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

OK, PK: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap

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This week on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Dorit and PK threw a dinner party, Eden hosted a pilates class, and Erika wanted to punch Dorit.

PK

Mikey was Erika’s dance choreographer, jewelry organizer, and the person she would call every night to make sure her nails were always on trend. She met him on the apparel floor of her home so they could discuss what a terrible Dorit was beside the lingerie drawers. As she explained it, Dorit had offered her a pair of expensive granny trunks because her purvey husband was unable to keep his eyes off her lady pocket. “She’s why I hate to have lady friends,” Erika explained. Mikey’s heavily moisturized face glistened in the light of then chandelier. “Why would anyone wear panties with a Mugler dress?” he wondered. This was why Erika only ran with a crowd of male makeup and hair stylists, jazz performers, and members of a Village People cover band.

HAVE AND HAVE NOTS

Dorit and PK, the Alexis and Jim Bellino of Beverly Hills, gathered their friends (and an uncomfortable Lisa Rinna) in their what seems to be a rental home to provide them with a catered dinner. Dorit dropped her kids off with the night staff of nannies so that she could walk downstairs and instruct a kitchen staff to serve salads immediately. As a waiter poured a glass of champagne into a guest’s flute, PK remarked on the length of Dorit’s dress. “I like the view here,” he mumbled as his shifted sideways in his patio chair. “This is really a display of the haves and have nots,” he bragged. Dorit noted she grew up upper middle class and always made sure her guests enjoyed fresh flowers. She always ensured there was the right mix of people, and always more interesting than she and PK combined.

HOW WE PROCESS

Elliot Minz, an overly tanned and tucked publicist in the age range of 80-105 walked Lisa Rinna to her dinner seat. As they pretended to nibble on grass Minz gave Lisa some sage advice on handling pressure. She had no idea what he was saying, because his face barely moved, but she appreciated it nonetheless. Between inhaling bits of his appetizer PK asked Lisa if she had ever regretted anything she had said in the course of filming. She lied and said she felt bad for “being hard” on Lisa Vanderpump the season before, noting the death of her father made her realize how pointless it was to hold onto anger. PK, who believed himself to be a real house lady himself and having no real understanding of the private conversations Lisa and Lisa had shared offered his own opinion on how she processed the death of her biological parent. He also had some feeling about the fact Eileen had kept private how she experienced the death of six relatives in a short period of time. “That’s not fair,” said PK. “I totally agree with you as I do with all things,” Dorit added. Lisa Rinna wondered for the moment if it was better to throw a wine glass at PK’s face or just get up and leave. She did neither.

The next day Lisa Rinna informed Eileen that PK had directed their reaction to the death of their parent, which confounded Eileen. This guy’s known me for 5 minutes and he’s my therapist, she thought. To get to the bottom of the matter she invited Dorit to a Malibu cliffside to confront her on the matter. “Do you like my new ride?” Dorit asked as she pulled up in the Bentley she may or may not permanently own. Because it was windy they opted for a picnic. When Eileen asked why there was so much judgment from Dorit and PK about the way she has handled grief Dorit insisted she didn’t remember the conversation. “I don’t have the slightest idea what you are talking about,” she answered despite spending the time between dinner entrée and dessert at her party discussing the matter.

EDEN

Kyle, Erika, and Lisa Rinna met with Eden Sassoon at a pilates studio to work out their anxiety. Erika, who noted it took a lot of work to look good, nearly pulled a vaginal muscle mounting the Cadillac reformer. Kyle worried about Mauricio working too hard and how they could pay for his italian speeding ticket. Lisa Rinna worried whether her daughters would end up with an old man from an online dating site. At an after lunch Eden discussed how her sister Catya died from a drug overdose. She made sure to mention how Catya and Kim Richards were friends, which made Kyle spit out her lettuce wrap.

CAMILLE

Camille, who had recently unloaded her palatial Malibu estate including 8,000 square foot guest mansion, invited Eileen over for lunch. Eileen invited Erika and Dorit even though there was no proof they had ever met her or had any understanding of her divorce to Kelsey Grammar. Everyone greeted her with a kiss at her new home; saddened to see her old friend Dedra wouldn’t be joining them. They sat down on the patio for lunch and immediately launched into a conversation about Erika’s career as an entertainer. Although Eileen congratulated Erika on her 9th number one hit, Dorit found it implausible. It must be a hobby, she suggested, given her lack of persona. She had spent enough time in a bubble bath alongside Boy George to know what it takes too be a middle-aged pop star in aggressive makeup. Erika, who had callused feet and knees from hours of dance choreography, rolled her eyes in disgust. Besides avoiding her children and decorating her rental home in Z Gallerie what else has she done?

They all agreed that 40 was a turning point in one’s life. Erika was grateful this fame came later in her life because it proved that hard work and perseverance did not age you out of a career as an entertainer, “I feel like 40 brings you confidence, no?“ Dorit asked. “You have been 40 for two minutes,” clarified Erika. “Let me finish,” Dorit barked. No one, however, cared if she finished because she was annoying.

Also, Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump sought information regarding a female rejuvenation surgery.

Also,

NEXT WEEK:

Angry charades.

 

Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

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