Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Hold On For One More Day: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap

By  | 

This week on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Kyle threw a cheesecake party for Carnie Wilson, Lisa Rinna admitted she said Kim was near death, and Eden remained an outsider.

LADY ANTHEM

Kyle had a lady anthem. It was not something she spoke about openly, you could not find it in her biography, hidden in an Instagram post, or on the song list at her yearly white party. It was something she kept reserved for only the moments she was home alone or in her Agency branded sports car.

HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE DAY

Some day somebody’s gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things’ll go your way
Hold on for one more day

Shit gets real. Your sister might relapse on national TV. You might get your hair stuck in an escalator. Your older sister might disown you. Don’t have a mid-life crisis, Kyle, just hold on for one more day.

So when Carnie Wilson, the center of the 90s super girl group Wilson Phillips befriended her on the set of Celebrity Apprentice it centered her in a way that selling overpriced blouses at Kyle by Alene never did or could. To repay her for her friendship and deep understanding of what it takes to appear on 36 reality shows Kyle hosted a party for Carnie to celebrate her new cheesecake business in her backyard. I know this party should be about your lemoncello and hazelnut cheesecake bites, but it will probably end up with an intervention. (Carnie didn’t mind as long as the event appeared in one of the season’s episodes). Carnie assured her that all would be well.

“If there is one thing I learned on Tyler Henry Hollywood Medium, Karaoke Battle USA, Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off, Gone Country on the Country Music Channel, or Celebrity Fit Club it is to expect the unexpected.” So before Erika, Camille, Lisa Rinna, Eileen, Lisa Vanderpump, the two alcoholic cast members, and some other non-important people showed unto the party Kyle’s party host Glenn prepared caviar bowls, wine glasses, and dessert trays. Seventy-nine percent of the guests don’t consume carbohydrates, but it would be a night of dessert dreams.

TEMPORARY AMNESIA

Just before the party began Lisa Rinna suddenly overcame her temporary amnesia. “I have to tell you that I did infact say that Kim was near death and Kyle enables her,” Lisa admitted. Erika and Eileen separately gasped. Erika held her gaze with her lifeless eyes. “This won’t go well for you,” she purred. Eileen assured her that she would always love her. To ease matters Lisa Rinna brought Kim a giraffe from Ross Dress For Less for her soon-to-be-born grandson. “Thank you,” said Kim holding the plastic-wrapped toy in her hands like a wash towel used to dry an obese plumber.

IS SHE SOBER?

Kyle had met with Carnie on the back patio. “My sister will be bringing her companion to this event,” said Kyle. “Is your sister sober?” asked Carnie. Though others would ask the same question Kyle took no offense. Carnie had been sober 11 years. She had replaced her love of alcohol with food, she explained. But it would be Carnie who would mend Kim and Lisa Rinna’s broken fence.

“I know that there is pain,” said Carnie. “Just break free from these chains. Are you going to let them turn around make you cry?” she asked Kim. “Can you just hold on for one more day?” she turned and asked Lisa Rinna. Lisa Vanderpump tried to interject, but Carnie’s soft voice and the smell of her strawberry cheesecake bites silenced her. Kim’s sober companion suggested they all move forward. “I know that I said all those things about you almost dying,” said Lisa Rinna, “but I really care about you and want to move forward. I would also appreciate it if you never talk about Harry Hamlin.” Kim denied again that she ever made incriminating statements about the actor who formerly appeared on LA Law. (She will never admit it, explained Eileen).

OTHER STUFF

Dorit leaned forward and brushed her hand over side banana clip. Things would be better, she thought to herself, if Boy George handed out the cheesecake trays.

Erika gulped down a glass of wine. Lisa Rinna shoved down her throat a cheesecake bite, the first dessert she had consumed in 17 years.

Also notable: Lisa and Ken shed tears about a dog festival in China and Harry Hamlin picked up his kid from school.

NEXT WEEK:

Someone gets frustrated.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Recap, Carnie Wilson, Hold On For One More Day

mm

Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *