Real Housewives of New York

Reunion Part One – Real Housewives of New York: Hypocrite

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During part one of this season of Real Housewives of New York Dorinda stood up for John, Bethenny called Luann a hypocrite, and Jules got lip injections.

CAN’T KEEP UP

The problem was they were all members of a Bravo sorority and Bethenny majored in quantum physics and the others studied home economics and basket weaving. They simply could not keep up.

HYPOCRITE

10 Best Moments From Real Housewives of New York Recap: Hypocrite

  1. Jules was doing surprisingly well considering she and mini Meatball were divorcing. She had fresh lip injections and a healthier glow.
  2. Luann wore the ubiquitous jumpsuit, this time covered in sequins to compliment her delusional hypocrite holiday attitude. Who cares if my fiancée banged two of my friends? It’s Labor Day weekend!
  3. Dorinda acknowledged she often tried to sell her dry-cleaning boyfriend to the group. She loved him, but knew he needed to reel it in on occasion. “I met John through powerful people,” Sonja explained, “and he can’t swim through all circles,” she added. It was Lady Morgan speak for this fabric cleaner can’t be trusted in front of aristocracy, otherwise he will talk about moist panties.
  4. There were lingering grunts and sighs when discussion rose about Dorinda and whether she liked to go off the “rails” from time to time. “Are you insinuating something?” she asked. Bethenny noted everyone in the tri-state area was under that same impression. “I don’t want to ruin anyone’s life over it,” she replied. “Too late for that!” cried Luann. Then Luann suggested they drop the subject, especially if anyone in law enforcement in the metro area were watching tonight’s episode.
  5. Rey was absent. He had since moved on from The Countess after she broke with him the night our so before John’s dry cleaning gala. Ramona was unsure why she stuck up for him that night, perhaps because she always supported the downtrodden. Rey was a good guy creating a charity, which benefited “poor people”, and taking the time to understand himself while vacating in places like Ibiza. Although they had only spent “maybe 3 dates” together (including more than one in foreign countries) Luann had only good thoughts for him, especially since she has since found true and everlasting love.
  6. Luann couldn’t spell Bethenny’s name and only pronounced Radziwill when referring to her old neighbors in Europe.
  7. Ramona was in a serious relationship with someone named Tom from the state of Connecticut.
  8. Luann insisted Bethenny was a hypocrite for dating a married man, information that was not confirmed when Bethenny called her boyfriend’s adult daughter to clarify her own time stamp. “How do you like them apples?” she taunted Luann. “Sure, rope a relative into this,” replied Luann. “You will live and die a liar,” said Bethenny while simultaneously suggesting the phrase to her business manager. Let’s make then into Skinnygirl brand mugs and football seat covers.
  9. Everyone was unclear about he definition of slut shaming.
  10. Luann is unaware of all the men she has been with, but has fond memories of the Johnny Deep knock-off last vacation.

NEXT EPISODE: More tear-less faces.

Real Housewives of New York, Luann, Bethenny, Carole, Sonja, Ramona

Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

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