I took Mia to a sign language class this morning. The instructor kept going on and on about how important it is to delay having your child watch a television. She bragged her kids were two years old by the time they even saw a television program. Really? I kind of doubt that. She said she spent their first two years exposing them to music and books and “the world around them”. So, are you saying they can’t learn from watching Anderson Cooper 360? You don’t think there are important nuggets of information they can glean from Real Housewives of Orange County? You are sticking with the story that you can go an entire day singing songs, reading children’s books, making crafts, and going on nature walks without banging your head against a wall? You honestly wait until the kids have gone to bed before you turn on your television? You must feel like you live in a bomb shelter. How can you relate to anyone anymore?
When I was pregnant people would ask me if I was playing music for the baby. No, I would explain, she listens to the news. That is my job. I watch the news all day long. We always have the news on in our house. In fact I was watching CNN when Mia was born. I seriously doubt all these women who claim they go an entire day without at some point sticking their child in front of a Baby Einstein video so they can take a shower, make a phone call, or fix themselves a dry martini. Not turning on a television set all day seems incredibly unrealistic.
I spent a lot of my childhood in front of a television. That is part of the reason I have encyclopedia knowledge of made for TV movies, soap operas of the 80s, and sitcoms. Frankly your kids will be cool if they can riff on a bunch of different topics including Nickelodeon stars and this year’s Kid’s Choice Award nominees. Do you think you are doing your children a service when all they can talk about is how to make friendship bracelets, how to harmonize with your parents, and how to make a collage? Seriously?
Okay, must go. Mia and I are going to catch a few episodes of Jersey Shore. Fist pump!
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