Reality TV Stars

An Open Letter to ABC About Another Bachelorette Breakup

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Dear ABC,

Andi and Josh broke up? 

I thought you said this was going to work?!

You shoved 25 dudes in a room with one woman in a prom dress, made them compete in various love related challenges, sequestered them from rest of salvation, and promised it would culminate with a wedding proposal and the chance for a two-part wedding ceremony airing live on the network.

What could have possibly gone wrong?

I trusted this process. I pretended it was normal for 8 men to ride in an 80s prom limo up to a mansion someone else owns to meet a woman they’ve only seen on television or in network marketing materials because one of those out of work actors might find the woman he is supposed to marry. I went along with it when the bachelorette handed long stem roses to only the men that captured her attention from a table of candles and picture frames. I accepted it could be possible to date several men at once, bang the last three contestants in a “fantasy” hotel suite, invite them to meet your family, and then go through a night of emotional torture when mulling over what man I just slept with should eventually become my husband.

He met her parents. She liked his dog!? She even seemed to agree that it was necessary for her to travel across the country every other weekend to see his younger brother play football. Why wouldn’t a girl with a law degree find everything in common with a guy whose job is being a former professional athlete? They had similar hair color and teeth. He didn’t seem to care she took it to at least third base with another guy the day before they got engaged. They looked kind of happy at the men tell all assembly. THEY JUST WALKED A RED CARPET TOGETHER!

What is going on?

Maybe they need to have someone remind them of the good times by arranging for them to have a nice quiet chicken dinner while Boys II Men sings their 90s hits? Can’t they walk around the cobble streets in Marseilles, France and then go on a sailboat ride with professional hair and makeup? Can’t they play baseball with kids from the YMCA? Can’t Chris Harrison remind them that their love was one of the most romantic-ish in Bachelor/Bachelorette history?

Fix this.

Love, Kate

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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