Real Housewives of New York

New York Reunion Recap – Part 3 – Village Idiot

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On the third and final part of the Real Housewives of New York reunion Sonja complained about the way the others treated her throughout the season, Bethenny called Dorinda a village idiot, and Luann finally addressed her decision to stay with Tom.

12 Best Moments From Reunion Part 3: Village Idiot

  1. Sonja, one who in years past has performed burlesque while slurring and displayed her vagina to clubgoers at an Atlantic City nightclub described how she normally gives up the drink during the Christmas holiday. This entire year has been an extension of that dry season vowing instead to only take sips of pinot grigio or vodka rather than guzzle it straight out of the bottle. The others applauded her commitment. “You’ve never looked better,” said Ramona, which to her is always paramount when facing a downward spiral.
  2. Ramona was at one point in negotiations to helm the Tipsy Girl wine label but bowed out after realizing Peter was a sleazebag.
  3. Sonja has never gotten over being discluded from the Berkshires getaway, a trip that would probably net her extra payment which she so badly needed to pay her heating bill or to pay the hosting fee on her website that does not in fact sell toaster ovens.
  4. Sonja got up and walked in circles around the couch threatening to quit the show because Dorinda had never called to ask her to lunch. She believed their earlier compliments on how she had some become less of a disaster this year were part of a government-funded cover-up.
  5. Dorinda took exception to Bethenny referring to her as a village idiot. “A village idiot?” she cried. “A village idiot walks around like derty durr durr durr,” she explained while upturning her nose and bouncing back and forth. “You are correct,” said Bethenny. “Dorinda is always the last one to the punch line, she’s always about 14 minutes behind,” said Bethenny. “If that means being hopeful and kind, then I guess I am,” said Dorinda.
  6. Sonja apologized for calling Luann’s engagement ring a cloudy piece of chintz likely purchased on the black market. “I deserved to be bit—slapped,” she said. Also, she was jealous and just appreciates fine jewelry.
  7. Luann understood why everyone was jealous of her happiness. She was the only one who could tame a bald man with yachting pants and a sex addiction. They were so secure in their relationship she would be inviting her old boyfriend Jacques, a human Fraggle with expertise in the wine industry and her ex-husband Alex who liked the company of more than one lady in a marriage to the nuptials. “I get it,” noted Jules, “I had two of Michael’s ex-girlfriend’s in our wedding.” Everyone was surprised Michael had one, let alone two ex-girlfriends.
  8. Carole is overshadowed by Bethenny, a woman the others believed is a bulldog with no scruples. “I am absolutely not afraid of Bethenny,” said Carole while stifling screams from the pain of the electric shock collar Bethenny forced her to wear.
  9. It was not Bethenny’s choice to display pictures of Tom with another woman, but the opportunity came to her. There was no right way to do it though discussing it on television after showing photographic proof to Luann’s enemies felt invigorating. Luann didn’t understand why Bethenny had done so much investigative work. Did she need to get time stamps and witness statements from the bus boy and bartenders? Bethenny stood up and then sat back down. Though Tom had dry humped another woman at the Regency in front of an audience of hundreds the situation would not have been so horrible if Bethenny had provided the news in a different manor. “Next time I get a picture of your fiancé of one week making out with someone, I’ll know exactly what to do!” Bethenny yelled.
  10. After receiving news of his affair Dorinda had hoped she would have come back to New York and stayed with her in an apartment decorated with sale items from Home Goods. Luann instead went to the Regency so she could go back to his loving arms as he enjoyed a cocktail in the very same spot he had made out with another woman three days before.
  11. A viewer wondered if Luann really liked Tom or the idea of Tom. “I love the way we have the same sense of humor and how he skis,” said Luann. “You can’t marry him just because he skis,” said Ramona, “although maybe Luann does.” Then Ramona teased Andy with facial expressions hinting Tom was probably boning someone else as they spoke. “Do you know something?” asked Andy. Ramona shrugged her shoulders and rolled her large eyes back into her head.
  12. “Tom and I are in love, and we’re getting married, and we’re going to have a great future together,” Luann announced. We know, you are in love and getting married, said the others in unison. You didn’t make tat clear the first 72 times you have said that.

It was unclear if the women would be able to move forward. Bethenny told Luann what she said was reprehensible. “I was fed the wrong information,” said Luann, “whoopsie, my bad.”

REGRETS

They all had regrets.

Jules wished she had not offended the people in her congregation by using saltines and Kool-Aid in their religious observation. Carole would have been less of a mute. Ramona regretted the way she hurt Dorinda, specifically the way she destroyed Meatball John’s dry cleaning party. Luann wished she would not have had that fight with Tom that Wednesday evening, which resulted in Mitch Gaylord’s ex-wife making out with at their favorite haunt. Bethenny wished she dialed down her aggression.

OVER IT

Then they all stood up and hugged. Bethenny remained on the coach and cried into her shoes.

Real Housewives of New York  Reunion Recap, Part Three, Village Idiot, Dorinda, Bethenny, Sonja, Luann

 

 

 

 

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