Show Recaps

This is Why Nick and Vanessa Will Never Last

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THE BACHELOR FINALE

I was pretty confident from the beginning of this season’s The Bachelor that Nick would not find everlasting love. Perhaps it was the fact he had already been on the series twice or the show’s spin off Bachelor in Paradise? Maybe it was because it was clear he was gunning for spot on Dancing With The Stars or because joining the show would mean he would get a free straightening process on his hair? Also, Vanessa never watched a full season of the show before signing her contract.

I am pretty confident Nick and Vanessa won’t last and here’s why.

Upside: Nick’s family got a free Christmas vacation in Finland. #beautifulholidaycards
Downside: Most of these people put their life on hold for a television romance.

NICK AND VANESSA

Now that the show is over I can tell you the reasons I believe Nick and Vanessa will probably never get married.

  1. Vanessa is still pissed at her last boyfriend. Her family tried to explain this to Nick during their Sunday dinner, but he was too preoccupied with the food.
  2. Despite being on the show for weeks Nick and Vanessa never came to a clear resolution on whether they would live in the United States or Canada.
  3. For the first six episodes I doubted whether Nick was sober.
  4. On their last romantic date Santa Claus presented them with a craft, which misspelled their names.
  5. “I know I have been selfish,” Nick said to the runner-up. He forgot to say the same to the girl he boned on the same vacation. Please don’t let it get to your head I had relations in a cabin with two other ladies the same week we were together.
  6. They have never had to share an apartment/house or hotel room for more than 24 hours.
  7. Neil Lane’s thoughts on Nick giving someone an engagement ring: “I hope this one works.”
  8. At the After The Rose finale Chris Harrison acknowledged the fact the couple had many issues they needed to work through.
  9. Nick will spend the first weeks of their real life engagement dancing in sequins on national TV with another woman.
  10. They lacked any sexual chemistry on After The Rose. In fact Vanessa looked like she wanted to stab him.
  11. They almost forgot to exchange cell phone numbers after the show completed filming. In fact she thinks his last name is Greenberg.
  12. In the last 48 hours they haven’t shared a car, let alone a hotel suite. Nick looks like he wants to live in a cave for the next 6 months.

The Bachelor, Finale, Recap, Nick and Vanessa

 

So I look forward to seeing Nick on season 56 of Bachelor in Paradise.

The Bachelor Finale: Vanessa and Nick

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

1 Comment

  1. Erica

    March 14, 2017 at 7:45 am

    So accurate. All Vanessa kept saying what that her gut was telling her something wasn’t right. But sure, let’s get engaged. They both looked absolutely miserable on After the Final Rose.

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