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Kate Middleton And I Had Same Labor & Delivery

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I am not a Princess, but apparently I have labor and deliveries just like Kate Middleton. Here’s why. 

Vanity Fair this month has an adaptation from Katie Nicholl’s forthcoming royal biography on Kate Middleton, Prince William, and their new son George. The most interesting details she uncovered are that in the weeks preceding the birth Kate stayed at her parent’s mansion sitting on the couch watching boxed DVD sets and swimming in their pool. When she finally went into labor she and William were whisked to the hospital in a Minivan, that the birth was “natural”, Prince William was beside her, and they waited four hours to announce the arrival allowing some time to let their immediate families get the news first. Queen Elizabeth, as per protocol, was called on a specially encrypted phone. Though they had reserved several rooms at the end of the corridor in the hospital they remained pretty quiet. Another mother on the wing said you would hardly notice they were there with the exception of two plainclothes protection officers standing guard outside their room.  Their visitors included her parents, Prince Charles, and Camilla. They left the next day allowing photographers and cameras to capture them leaving the hospital with their newborn. Kate had her stylist blow dry her hair for the occasion and wore a Jenny Packham dress paired with wedge sandals.

I also had a baby this July.

I got rejected for a scheduled induction three days in a row because the hospital was too full. I sat through the early stages of labor chatting with the delivery nurse about the reasons Kim Kardashian may have had her baby early and whether Beyoncé faked her pregnancy. My husband, by the way, was asleep on the pullout couch the entire time. Three of my girlfriends witnessed the delivery. My sister cut the cord when no one else seemed interested. The next day I had a series of visitors. My friend Dawn complained that she felt fat (as I sat in a hospital gown fresh from pushing a watermelon out my wazoo). My mother-in-law decided to bring along my brother-in-law with whom I have no relationship and his girlfriend I have only met twice. A friend brought along her husband who I can only assume felt nauseous having to look at me in a snap front hospital gown while my urine bag was on full display. The afternoon closed out with a visit from my babysitter, her husband, and his mother visiting from Mexico who as it happens doesn’t speak a word of English. The next day I left the hospital in a pair of Gap sweats and flip-flops looking like I had just escaped a tornado. I begged my doctor to discharge me forgoing the help of the post-delivery care staff so I wouldn’t miss that week’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County.

So basically Kate Middleton and I had the same experience.

Kate Middleton, Prince George, Prince William, Labor

 

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

2 Comments

  1. Alison

    September 17, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    Classic. Wish you had another video of your husband from this birth.

  2. Pingback: Love and Knuckles Childbirth: My Ultimate Hospital Room CheckList - Love and Knuckles

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