This week I came across an interesting compilation of items Taylor Armstrong from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has claimed on the show and in interviews, which have raised more than a few eyebrows. They include an explanation of how she became Taylor (her real name is Shana Hughes), her plastic surgery, charity work, and whether or not she instigates cat fights.
The most uncomfortable part of the video is uncovering her claim that castmate Adrienne Maloof is the godmother of her daughter. When asked about it on the reunion show the clearly uncomfortable Maloof emphasizes she was only asked to be the godparent and then explains how she finds it a large responsibility and one that should be reserved for a relative or close friend. Sort of like asking someone to marry you, having them do everything they can to let you down, and then pressing forward with a registry at Neiman Marcus. Although Taylor claims the two have known each other for several years they apparently met through their kid’s school and only a few years ago. Which makes it seem like she asked the richest lady in the PTA. You know, so in case something happens with her husband’s questionable financial services company she can at least score her daughter some sweet confirmation gifts and stake a claim in the will.
So I am thinking that in the off chance I submit myself for season 15 of Real Housewives of Orange County I should begin thinking about reinventing myself. Because let’s face it, I am not that exciting.
My new name should be Jaguar DeVincenzo and I should be an heiress to the Dairy Queen fortune. My charity should be called Women with French Manicures (WWFM), an organization devoted to empowering young socialites with crippling fears about developing wrinkles. While based in Newport Beach I will mention my summer home in St. Tropez (a rental in the off-season) where I like to spend my free time painting and collecting high heel tchotchkes. But my greatest pride is knowing my twin sons Baron and Hermes are lucky to call Oprah and Gayle their god-mamas.
What do you think? Do I have a shot?
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