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Married At First Sight – A Review

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I consider myself an expert in train wreck television, which is why I want to share with you the gloriousness that is the A&E series Married At First Sight.

Six people agreed to participate in a national television experiment (cut down from 7,000 applicants) because they have one can only assume given up on ever finding someone via normal circumstances. They have asked four “specialists” in the areas of sexology, spirituality, psychology, and sociology to use a specific matchmaking method to determine who should join in holy matrimony even though they have never met each other. The entire series will document what happens during the selection process, wedding, honeymoon, and when they need to go back home and share a bathroom and a savings account. At the conclusion of the series each of the three married couples get to evaluate whether they would like to remain together or pretend this whole situation never happened.

As one can expect not everyone was thrilled at the site of his or her new spouse.

RYAN AND JACLYN

Ryan is a 30 year-old real estate agent who wants a career woman who knows how to have fun but is also willing to help him raise his 12-year-old niece. 29 year-old Jaclyn is looking for someone personable who can keep up with her job as a vodka sales rep. But there are small issues, like the fact they live in different states, she can’t stand his accent, and she doesn’t think he is attractive.

‘Jaclyn’s a beautiful girl, and I feel instant chemistry,’ Ryan told the cameras. ‘I just hope she feels the same.’ Whoopsie. Let’s not get our hopes up, Ryan. “I first see Ryan, my gut just says, ‘Oh man, like this is him?’ The initial physical attraction really isn’t there right now,” Jaclyn said. “When I saw him face-to-face, I felt a little disappointed. It just doesn’t feel like this is the man who is my husband. I don’t know if I can do this.”

 

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You don’t have to do this, Jaclyn. BUT SHE WENT ON WITH THE CEREMONY. She doesn’t think she can look at him straight in the eye and her ears bleed when he talks, but she still agrees to be his wife.

It gets worse. “There is something about his face that is not what I expected… But we can be friends.” FRIENDS? YOU JUST MARRIED HIM?!?!

And now you have to call his parents mom and dad and wash his laundry.

SEAN AND DAVINA

Sean is a 34 year-old ER nurse and Davina is a 35 year-old pharmaceutical sales rep. His family does not support his decision to marry a stranger and her mother and sister didn’t even bother showing up to the ceremony. You’re going to agree to meet someone who might be an axe murderer? Cool, we’ll sit this one out.

But they were hot for each other, which is a good thing when you meet the person you just agreed to stay with forever.

JESSICA AND RYAN

Jessica is a 30-year-old receptionist at a law firm. She wants a man who is humble and open and willing to share the responsibilities of cooking and cleaning. Ryan is a 29 year-old business owner looking for someone goal oriented and able to get along with anyone. They were matched up because of their strong family bonds including their relationships with their stepfathers. Downside? He’s Jewish and she is Catholic. Hope they can work out how to celebrate the holidays!

“Married at First Sight” Season 2 airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. EDT on A&E.

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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