LeAnn Rimes Asks Me for Advice
My husband Eddie and I are celebrating our 17-month anniversary this month. I am looking for something special since I will be spending the majority of the next 30 days at a treatment facility for anxiety and stress related matters. Any ideas on something romantic? Ideally something sweet that also happens to function as a secret listening device. Also, just a note, he already has a collection of boudoir photos I had taken while he was still married to his previous wife. So I am looking for something different.
Congratulations on making this major milestone in your relationship. 17 months is not easy, especially for a couple that met playing star-crossed lovers on a Lifetime movie set. It is clear you love each other, evidenced by your intent to find him a special anniversary gift and the way you post photos of your string bikini self groping him on twitter.
I would consider something that says, “I love being married to you” but not in an “I might drive myself off a cliff if I can’t be with you” sort of way. You want him to know you appreciate him, but that you are independent enough to not have to have his car tracked or that you have your assistant go through his cell phone bill line by line to ensure you can account for all his calls. Technology is always a good idea. Does he have an Ipad? Though you have to accept the fact he might at some point use it to look at porn. You can check to see if certain sites like Chat Roulette and Ashley Madison can be blocked. But you can flood it with pictures of you together, even the ones you secretly look while he was married to another woman. Another idea is to get him a new set of golf clubs. Dudes like to golf, right? See if there is an all-men’s club in a 50-mile radius. It’s not like he has a job and it will give him something to obsess over. Look at Bruce Jenner. He’s not hitting any strip clubs.
But to be honest I think what he really wants is a little space. So maybe in celebration of these enormously quasi-happy 17 months you can undo the clamps and give him at least 20 minutes to use the restroom or shower without an escort.
How’s that sound?
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