Real Housewives of Dallas

Launch: Real Housewives of Dallas Recap

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This week on Real Housewives of Dallas, D’Andra’s meeting at the cosmetic lab jeopardized the product launch, Mark confronted Leeanne, and Kameron had a launch party for her Sparkle dog food bags.

LADIES WHO LAUNCH

  1. Stephanie’s son was tutored in their kitchen a few yards away from an enormous puddle of dog piss.
  2. Kameron’s mother also thought her dog food idea was ridiculous, but evidently not as ridiculous as their oversized fur coats for a mild day in Dallas.
  3. When Kameron was 7 she designed a pink and white beach towel later sold to Neiman Marcus. She provided no proof.
  4. Though Kameron was concerned her pink dog food was not in fact pink, D’Andra advised her to move forward with her launch party. “In my experience as a lady of business you always fake it until you make it.” Sure, technically your product is false advertising, but press forward with the cocktail party with custom step and repeats and bedazzled dog bowls.
  5. Cary and Stephanie tried to make amends. “I know I am not a perfect friend,” said Cary. “I am sad that our friendship got off track,” replied Stephanie. “Did you say that you would never be friends with me?” asked Stephanie. Cary encouraged Stephanie to break free from Brandi’s emotional control.
  6. Brandi brought Leeanne a Costco bouquet of flowers because she was suffering from a flesh eating disease. The prognosis was dim, but Leeanne was feeling stronger with the help of IVs and a bucket of pills.
  7. Brandi remained steadfast that Cary was Mark’s nanny before they realized they were sexual and operation room soul mates. “You kept her secrets, girl,” said Leeanne. “Cary is a puppeteer.”
  8. D’Andra was surprised to hear the level 22 product that would launch the Dee and D’Andra skincare company into lip collagen history was not available for another few weeks, far past her launch party date. It made her reflect on the advice she had given Kameron days before about pushing forward with a cocktail party when you don’t have a product. “Whoopsie. Am I living in a f—ing twilight zone?” Yes, you are D’Andra.
  9. Kameron packed up her stick and her bandana and drove 20 miles northeast to Plano to meet Brandi for a martini. After struggling to parallel park her car in an enormous parking spot she complained about having to travel so far from civilization. She wasn’t thrilled about spending time with Brandi or sitting in a booth at a Ruby Tuesdays. “I don’t want to fight with you,” said Brandi, “but I just don’t want to have a stick up my ass like you.” Kameron admitted she was a prude woman, one whom disliked bachelorette parties with strippers, cocktails served in plastic cups, and cargo pants. “Maybe you can take the time to know me and you will see who I am,” said Kameron. It was the first time she had experienced having someone so unwilling to be friends. (Only because she ignored most people). They agreed they were different people and promised to work on their friendship.
  10. Kameron invited Brandi to her dog food launch, but asked for her to keep her sex toy at home.
  11. Kameron’s husband invested $10,000 into her first few bags of pink kibble, which Cary reported tasted like a cracker. Her dog named after a handbag entered the restaurant’s bar with a parade of sparklers. She read a speech off some cards and danced with her dog.
  12. D’Andra wept as a dog psychic translated message from one of her canines.
  13. Leeanne informed the others she had disinvited Mark and Cary from her engagement party. When she tried to explain this course of action to Mark he laughed and inquired why she had suggested he received favors at a local bar or that his plastic surgery office was a chop shop. She did it, of course, only because Cary had suggested Rich had an abnormally small penis. “Do you respect me?” asked Mark. She honestly couldn’t remember because she was hopped up on pills, but she didn’t appreciate the fact Cary called the man who altered her breasts a vagina doctor. “He’s not a plastic surgeon,” pointed out the certified plastic surgeon. Despite all this Leeanne still hoped they would come to her engagement party.
  14. Cary has always babysat the children of the plastic surgeons she has worked for.
  15. Brandi and Cary moved forward.

NEXT WEEK:

Leeanne says she would slit Brandi’s throat.

Real Housewives of Dallas, Recap, Sparkle, Launch

 

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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