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Lady Gaga Made Her Assistant Sleep Next to Her

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My old boss used to pose the question of what job you’d love to have and what job you’d absolutely hate. I have always thought my true calling was the anchor of Weekend Update of Saturday Night Live. The jobs I would want no part of would include a pedicurist, a high school choir teacher, and working at a factory that produces mayonnaise or sour cream.

But being an assistant to a celebrity seems pretty awful too.

Last week Lady Gaga’s former assistant made news because of her lawsuit against the singer for $390,000 in unpaid overtime plus damages. She claims in her upcoming tell-all memoir (I guess she never signed a non-disclosure) that she was forced to work 24/7 and was “required” to sleep in Gaga’s bed “because she didn’t sleep alone.”

Before that she worked for Naomi Campbell (a well documented nut bag) where apparently her duties included making sure her clothes were unpacked, steamed and press in her hotel room and taking out the contents of the minibar and putting 25 lily Diptyque brand scented candles around the suite in specific spots. “There always had to be five candles in the bathroom, 10 in the bedroom and 10 in the living room.” She also says Naomi wanted to pretend to the outside world that she wasn’t drinking. “Every hotel we set foot in, I would move [the bottles] so that anyone, a manager, a maid, could say that she doesn’t drink.” Campbell would then “grab her two phones, grab me and go into my room to start drinking.” Overall, the relationship between employer and employee often crosses an unhealthy line. “You are married to these people. You are literally in a relationship with them.”

Bonnie Low-Kramen, who is the co-founder of New York Celebrity Assistants, reveals that one of her personal assistants came to her, complaining that her boss would greet her naked at the door. “She didn’t feel empowered or confident enough to say to him that it bothered her,” she reveals. “She quit after a few months.” In another outrageous incident, an A-list actor called his assistant at 4 am from across the world because there was not enough toilet paper in his bathroom.” He was five hours ahead in London, and he was asking her to call the hotel because his bathroom was running out of toilet paper.”

The minute my boss asked me to rock them to sleep I would have been out the door. I know we are still coming out of a recession, but good Lord. Your boss needs you to call the front desk for some toilet paper? No, thanks. Because once you cross that threshold it will never end. You’re buying them sanitary napkins. You are arranging their prescription pills stash. You are sitting outside their lover’s home in a convertible with a headscarf and binoculars to find out if their spouse is really home.

Is it worth it the free curling iron you get from the free swag bag they pick up at an Oscar gifting suite?

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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