Real Housewives of New York

Invite Only: Real Housewives of New York Recap

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This week on Real Housewives of New York Carole attended a memorial service for Dorinda’s late husband Richard, Bethenny considered upgrading to a larger apartment, tensions rose between Tinsley and Sonja, Dorinda and the other bridesmaids get a sneak peek at Luann’s wedding dress, and Ramona wondered whether she would get a wedding invite. 

17 Observations From Real Housewives of New York This Week

INVITE ONLY

  1. Sonja and Bethenny met for wedge salads at a restaurant in the foyer of Sonja’s dilapidating townhouse. They agreed Sonja was a curator of sorts, bedding men well before her housewives sisters.
  2. Dorinda invited Carole to a 5-year anniversary of my former husband’s death memorial at his South Barrington, Massachusetts grave. (I quietly wept as her daughter Hannah reflected on her deep relationship with her stepfather. I also noted to myself to pursue paperwork to get Dorinda’s parents to adopt me).
  3. Richard was practically a patron saint who gave wads of cash to homeless people.
  4. Bethenny’s daughter Brynn lives in a bedroom fit for a member of the royal family or someone with parents who sleep on piles of cash. Despite this she and her daughter need more square footage to accommodate Brynn’s collection of doll clothes and Bethenny’s in-case-of-nuclear-war supply of Skinnygirl snacks, blenders, and tote bags.
  5. Bethenny’s newfound hobby is real estate investment. She could take up knitting or Zumba, but what would she do with all of her money?
  6. Luann forced Dorinda to be a 51-year-old bridesmaid.
  7. Luann’s sister Renee loves lace.
  8. Tinsley realized she’d overstayed her invite in Sonja’s townhouse and vowed to look for a place of her own free of rules (ask permission before you use the bidet) and an ice tray that looked like a moose pissed in it.
  9. Tinsley’s closest friend owns a motorized car to accommodate her dog perfectly capable of walking.
  10. Carole has basically given her apartment over to a pack of cats that have destroyed her fancy furniture. “It smells like cat urine in here,” noted Bethenny.
  11. Carole and Adam had been together two years, which is the amount time it takes two people to realize they will either get married or secretly stalk former lovers on Facebook while the other person is sleeping.
  12. Ramona was surprised she wasn’t getting an invite to Luann’s wedding, not that she would attend it anyway. “I bought a ticket to Palm Beach,” said Ramona. She didn’t specify what weekend she meant. “She said she would never go,” whispered Bethenny from a bar stool behind the bride. Luann explained to her that invitations were reserved for people who wished them well or would publish photographs of the occasion in a weekly celebrity magazine.
  13. Sonja has uncontrollable gas, which she is willing to release in public places including bars, trains, and the checkout at a CVS.
  14. Tinsley and Carole think it ’s less hassle to stay on the bottom when making sweet love. (“That’s why I married Topper,” noted Tinsley).
  15. Bethenny was surprised Tinsley was secretly married in high school after watching an episode of 90210. “Your role model is Andrea?” she asked.
  16. Ramona tried to make amends with Bethenny, but was unable to control the volume of her voice. “I don’t like the way you are talking to me right now,” said Bethenny. “I am not loud,” replied Ramona. “Then you are not self aware,” said Bethenny. “Exactly,” said everyone who has ever watched this show.
  17. “She’s a loose cannon,” said Ramona with wide eyes. “I have never had this happen with any other friends,” she added. “You have friends?” everyone who watches this show asked.

NEXT WEEK:

Tinsley makes out with a younger man and Bethenny and Tom come face to face.

Real Housewives of New York, Invite Only, Luann, Ramona, Bethenny, Tinsley

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Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

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