In Praise of U.S. Naval Academy Women
Fifteen years ago I lived in Virginia Beach, Virginia. I was married at the time to an unmotivated enlisted sailor. It was, as you can imagine, not some of my finest hours. I call it my “watched too many episodes of TLC’s A Wedding Story” mistake. It ended almost as quickly as it began. (Please see my earlier post on my first marriage for further background). The one great thing about being stuck in a depressing town with a loser guy in a loveless union were the friends I made, namely the WUBAs, graduates from the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis.
Please get out your notebook girls; you are going to want to write this down. Prepare to have your life changed.
WHAT IS A WUBA?
From the Urban Dictionary:
Noun – In the U.S. Navy, derogatory slang term for any female sailor. Originally an acronym meaning “Woman Used By All” (in reference to their uniform) or “Woman with an Unusually Big Ass.”
Use: Let’s go somewhere else; they’re just a bunch of WUBAs.
Is this a term that upsets the female midshipmen? Of course not. You know who these women are? They are helicopter and F-18 pilots. They run a staff on destroyers. They are officers in the Navy and Marine Corps; you know the ones that protect us when we are at war. Do you know how hard it is to get into the Naval Academy? You have to be brilliant, an elite athlete, and get a nomination from a Senator or a congressman. You basically have to be a bad ass. So no, being told they have an enormous butt doesn’t piss them off. Instead they have embraced the term. In fact they consider the term a compliment. As my friend Ashley has explained it a WUBA is “basically, the kind of girl who will go out and order a real meal on a date (not a salad), eat it all, and then ask the guy for the rest of his. We don’t really care what the dudes think of us, and we highly value our girlfriends. But that doesn’t mean we’re gross– in fact, WUBAs are usually athletes, in good shape, etc. It’s a “ho’s before bro’s” kind of mentality. It centers on self-deprecation. Like, “Whoa, my ass really does look big in these pants.”
In a nutshell: WUBAs eat. They drink beer. They would rather hang out with their girlfriends than trolling bars for a potential husband. They sit at the cool people table.
A few examples of WUBA activity:
1. Rodi dressing up as a clown to celebrate the Spice Girls movie premiere in college and then going out to bars in Annapolis. Nothing says WUBA like a woman confident enough to wear a red Afro, clown makeup, and large red shoes and sidle up to the bar.
2. Watching Melissa pour a glass of beer overhead at Jack Quinn’s in Norfolk. Who cares if you have just had a blow out? What are you supposed to do when the air conditioning goes out?
3. Leaving a packed club so you can head back and eat the rest of the food leftover from a barbeque. Who has time for romance when there is a bowl of potato salad calling your name?
4. Performing a break dancing routine in your wedding gown.
Are you a WUBA too?
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