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Most Important Points From Real Housewives of Orange County

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These are the most important things that happened on last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County.

The Betrayal
  • Shannon drove to Ladera Ranch to explain on a national television show that she had received a very private email from her husband David suggesting he move into temporary accommodations so they could take a relationship breather. Tamra translated this into he was filing for divorce momentarily.
  • Shannon confided to Tamra that things started going south six years ago when she developed allergies. David was unwilling to share a marital bed with a lady who needed a face mask to breath properly. He needed to get up early and on several occasions found himself rolled up in oxygen tank cords.
  • Mid-point her purse buzzed because David sent her a text asking why Heather Dubrow had been discussing his private email to a table full of strangers over chimichangas at a Mexican restaurant in town. Tamra, who was quietly shatting her Capri pants, denied exposing Shannon’s private matter even though she had disclosed the information to Heather the previous day over calamari and pinot grigio.
Love On Each Other
  • Vicki is not ashamed that she and Brooks are still seeing each other. And by seeing each other she means she calls him every day, buys him new teeth, and then whisks him away on free Mexican vacations. They can be lovers in Puerto Vallarta freely because no one knows her even though her family has had second homes there since 1952. She likes to be sexual with Brooks, something she didn’t have with her long suffering ex-husband Donn, and something she had hoped she could reignite in Shannon and David. That’s why she also invited them on this trip. If David and Shannon could just “love on each other”, maybe tongue kiss, and if given the opportunity “titty twist” then they could get things back on track. She was sure of it.
Knock Knock
  • David returned the following day to the house of passive aggression. Shannon was determined to save their marriage and to find out who had betrayed her. She drove immediately to the Dubrow home, knocked on the door and surprised an unsuspecting Heather despite having to be notified by a neighborhood security guard that someone named Shannon Beador was at the gate two minutes before.
  • Terry poured the girls a glass of straight alcohol, promised to give them time alone to talk, and then squatted behind the piano with his hand over his mouth. Shannon calmly asked mother to mother where she received the information concerning David’s private email but Heather turned it into a community theater monologue about how she was emotionally ripped to shreds at Shannon’s holiday party. Her Christmas Eve was ruined, you see. Even though she didn’t celebrate Jesus and the woman sitting on her couch was pleading for her to stop yapping around town about her marriage problems Lady Dubrow’s Christian holiday was destroyed.
  • Terry reminded Heather that they had plans so they would need to wrap up their hair fight. “You know, we’ve got that thing that we need to get to over at that place.” So Heather threw her out.
  • The next day Shannon invited an essential oil specialist to give she and her Bravo friends a lesson on how to combat stress and marital destruction by rubbing lavender on your temples. She explained to Lizzie and her friend Danielle, a background actor in the Ladera Ranch production of Les Miserable, what had transpired at the Dubrow rental the previous evening. Lizzie took Heather’s side.
Ex-Womb-Me?
  • Tamra and Eddie pretended like they might have a baby.
  • Lizzie asked her GYNO (and my neighbor) for directions on making a lady baby.
Here’s The Rub
  • Brooks and Vicki got massages. Mid-rub they turned over. Vicki displayed her jugs. Brooks gave full frontal. My eyes started to bleed. The massage artist quit her job, moved out of the country, and changed her name.
Let’s Figure It Out
  • Tamra admits to Shannon she did tell Heather her business. They girl chatted after the cameras had left Fig & Olive. Shannon was disappointed. She could never trust her again.
  • Over a dinner with Lizzie (her husband couldn’t make it because he was at home vomiting into their toilet) Heather acknowledged she had discussed the contents of the private email to a table full of girls in a public place. But half of the women were her best friends and the other were “throw aways” who she knew she would never see again. In her defense she did tell them to “shut it down” after they had discussed it in depth for 30 minutes. Also, it’s Shannon’s problem with her friend Tamra. Not hers.

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Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

0 Comments

  1. April

    June 24, 2014 at 9:14 pm

    Do you think Donn Gunvalson sits in anticipation each week just waiting for the episode when Vicki finally comes to the conclusion that Brooks is fleecing her? Or has given her an STD? Or his dream scenario, both?

    • Kate

      June 24, 2014 at 10:44 pm

      I think he does. I also wonder what he thinks about the way she decorated the house.

    • Nikki

      July 7, 2014 at 7:48 am

      April, I hope you have comment reply notifications on because I know this is you because you used the word ‘fleecing’.

  2. Jen

    June 24, 2014 at 11:38 pm

    Brooks is so gross. Blech!

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