Reality TV Stars

An Imaginary Conversation Between Teresa Giudice and Andy Cohen Before Prison

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On Monday morning Real Housewives of New Jersey castmate Teresa Giudice will surrender to authorities and begin her 15-month prison sentence. A source told US Magazine she “only sees what she wants in terms of the legal stuff” and that she “is telling friends that she is hoping she will only be there for a week or two.”

Here is an imaginary conversation between Teresa and Bravo Executive Producer and Watch What Happens Live host Andy Cohen.

Andy: “Teresa? It’s me, Andy. Are you okay?”

Teresa: “Hold on. Let me turn this Bon Jovi Greatest Hits album down. What?”

Andy: “Are you okay?” 

Teresa: “Yeah, hon. Why?”

Andy:” Um, aren’t you going to prison tomorrow?”

Teresa: “No, no I have a book signing in Danbury. I’m just going to swing by this facility and sign some of my cookbooks.”

Andy: “Sweetie, I don’t think the prisoners at the federal prison are expecting you to sign copies of Fabulicious. Methinks you’re going to have to check in for an extended stay.”

Teresa: “No, no, no I’ve talked to my lawyer. They say I am just going to stop by, talk about Danielle Staub, do a Milania hair care presentation, and then head home.”

Andy: “Are you sure about that? Do the kids know?”

Teresa: “They know I am just going on a work trip. Joe’s going to just keep the car running incase they just want to take a few pics and have me sign some t-shirts.”

Andy: “Don’t you think you should talk to them? How is Gia?”

Teresa: “She’s great. We are going to film her new music video for I Be Jammin later this month.”

Andy: “You really think you are going to be helping her with her music video next month?”

Teresa: “Yeah, hon. We’re hoping Derek Hough can choreograph.”

Andy: “Derek Hough?”

Teresa: “Yeah, because I am going to be on the next season of Dancing With the Stars.”

Andy: “Don’t take this the wrong way, but there is no way in hell that is going to be happening. You are going to jail for like a year.”

Teresa:” Andy, you can’t believe everything you read.”

And then he hangs up and slams his head against a wall.

Now head over to Naughty Mommy to read her survival tips for Teresa for prison.


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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.


  1. April Johnson

    January 4, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    Nailed it.

  2. Pingback:

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