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I am a Kick Boxing Embarrassment, Jessica Biel, and Tiger Woods Busted

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I took a kickboxing class tonight and it did not go as well as I had hoped. I work out, it should be no sweat, or so I thought.
My mom never put me in a dance class. (She also never made me breakfast or packed a school lunch for me, and also let me walk out the door with a massive knot in the back of my head for months…. but I digress). I am not coordinated. A step aerobics class for me is like trying to cram for a quantum physics exam. It is too much information to take in too short a time. How are you supposed to follow the instructor and watch your reflection at the same time anyway? You get my drift.
The music began and the women around me started moving with the instructor. “It is easy”, she explained, “just follow me.” This should be okay. “Left punch, right punch, upper cut, jab, jab, double knees, switch, switch”, she guided. WHAT? Hang on, let’s start again. WAIT. Hang on. Is this right? No, I got that. WAIT. Oh no, that does not look right. Why did I wear running shorts? I am going to flash someone. Right, I got it. No, I look like an idiot now. Is anyone watching me? Okay, the instructor is annoyed. I am ruining everyone’s rhythm now. I had no idea this was Billy Blanks meets Dancing with the Stars.
I am pretty sure I made no friends today.
Did you guys see the pictures of Jessica Biel with Justin Timberlake at a concert? This is the stealth work of her publicist. She is desperately trying to stay relevant. She is notorious for setting up paparazzi shots and there were plenty of pictures of Justin with exes this weekend. She is frustrated she is not getting the parts she wants, but then again she would need to have some real talent.
Anyone read this Daily Beast article on what happened over Thanksgiving between Tiger Woods and his wife Elin? http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-01-24/tigers-thanksgiving-mystery—-solved/?cid=hp:mainpromo4

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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