Real Housewives of New York
Trash Talking: Real Housewives of New York Recap
This week on Real Housewives of New York Ramona’s Hampton’s dinner party was destroyed when Dorinda confronted Sonja about her incessant trash talking and Tinsley got drinks with Luann and Dorinda, but left out her roommate Sonja.
I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE
Dorinda had spent the better part of the day walking on a treadmill in a tracksuit wearing a walkman and walking at a quick rate to the sound of Taylor Dayne’s Tell It To My Heart. Someone from somewhere associated with that other person told her Sonja had said some awful stuff in a Facebook group. It was bad, and not something she was willing to let go. She could take a lot, that Dorinda, but at some point the missile would launch. That point was at Ramona’s early November pasta soiree at her home in Southampton.
Sonja had spent the first part of the dinner party letting Carole know that Bethenny had nothing to worry about now that her topless performance in a straight to Blockbuster video had been made public. “Look at what I’ve put my daughter through and she’s fine,” she said. Carole noted it was a point well taken. Sonja’s daughter would have plenty of material should she choose to write a tell-all style memoir. But by the time she began to chew on her salad Dorinda had already noted she had taken residence in Ramona’s spare bedroom. “That’s the one I always stay in,” Sonja noted. It was a beautiful room decorated with a 1990s comforter and wicker dressers.
Before dessert was served Dorinda noted:
- Sonja’s vagina needs an easy pass.
- Her toilet probably doesn’t work.
- Her townhouse is like Grey Gardens.
- Tinsley will end up paying the pied piper.
- She should go find a spare banana or cucumber.
- Her strip tease at Luann’s bachelorette party was hellacious.
- Sonja performs in sex shows. (Sonja: “Charlie Rose seemed to like it).
Sonja ate it. She didn’t really didn’t speak, only once so she could note she wouldn’t be able to attend Luann’s wedding because she had booked a trip to Phuket. “It was when I was still screwing Tom,” said Sonja. She just would never let it go. Tinsley could see this. She had only spent a few nights in Sonja’s townhouse and she was already getting a sense of the delusion. Is it normal to make your 40-year-old friend stay in a room filled with one-eyed dolls? Can she not see how strange it is to let your intern loving upstairs? Didn’t she notice the dog shit all over the floors? More importantly would she ever accept Tom was marrying Luann?
Afterwards Sonja noted to Ramona it was good that Dorinda vented. “Now we can move forward and be bridesmaids together,” she said. Ramona rested her hand on her shoulder and gave her a smile. Sure, go on thinking that, crazy pants. Then Ramona walked into her kitchen and reminded the hired wait staff to pretend she prepared the entire meal.
I AM LEAVING
Carole left the party because Bethenny had parked outside and she had to get back to her apartment with her weird cats to prepare for the election. Candace Bushnell, literary siren, sat in a corner asking herself why she accepted the dinner invitation in the first place. Bethenny never showed up.
Luann invited the women over for scones the next morning. Tinsley and Sonja walked in on Dorinda explaining why she loathed Sonja. “That said, I think I’ve said my peace,” said Dorinda. So naturally Dorinda and Sonja hugged each other as if they had not ripped each other apart over the last two-day. “You look wonderful,” they said to each other like two dictators enjoying drinks at the G8 Summit.
“Let’s be honest, this all comes with strings attached,” explained Dorinda of Sonja offering room and board free of charge to Tinsley. She would later violate the unwritten terms of their cohabitation by hanging out with Sonja’s friends without her. “You know that Michael is a great friend of mine and I would have liked to have gone to the Botanical Garden,” Sonja said to Tinsley in her kitchen days later. “But I only have a few friends because of my arrest,” she explained for the 12th time, “so to say that is bull shit.” Sonja turned around and walked back upstairs to hand wash her old lace panties in a bidet. (She had a date with someone named Frenchie who pleases her sexually).
Dorinda visited John in the dry cleaning factory. She had no plans to live with him.
Carole adopted another cat, which helped the other animals destroy her once pristine apartment. She was fine admitting she’d become a weird cat lady and that she was inept because she couldn’t choose an original animal’s name. She looked forward to Adam moving out so he could appreciate his own space and she could do the same.
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