Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Glam Circle: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

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This week on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Teddi threw a glam circle facial party and Dorit complained about her wine glass. 

PAGANI

Dorit called Erika Jayne earlier that week. “Hello, love,” she sang into the speaker phone, “I think I am going to buy a Pagani for PK for his birthday.” Erika placed the phone against her chest and tried to stifle her laughter. “She said she wants to buy a Ferrari for PK,” she whispered to Tom, as he lay deprived of strength due to an ankle injury. “You mean like a matchbox set?” he asked. They both wiped tears from their eyes. “Sure, sounds good,” Erika replied. They made plans to drive an hour south so that Dorit could test drive a car she had no intentions of ever buying. They drove up and down a hill and then promptly returned to Los Angeles.

LAWSUIT

Though a lawsuit involving Ken appeared in various media outlets, Lisa Rinna took great enjoyment mentioning it on camera. Lisa Vanderpump scrambled to sweep the news under the dander-covered carpet at Vanderpump Dogs. Ken suggested they leave it to the lawyers, but Lisa made sure she tried to contain the matter on the show by giving Kyle’s dog free grooming services. “Remember I know where your bodies are buried,” she screamed over the sound of an oversized hairdryer.

AMERICAN WOMAN

Kyle had her own set of problems. For years she tried to manage her relationships with her sisters. They had been so close at one time, but Mauricio’s real estate business and having aired Kim’s addiction issues on television made things strained. Her new show American Woman was a celebration of her life and her deceased mother, not an attempt to exploit their childhood. She had shed countless tears because Kathy and Kim (the original triple K’s – sorry Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney) did not rejoice in her new success. So, yeah, Lisa Vanderpump’s legal issues were the least of her worries.

LISA AND HARRY

Lisa and Harry worried about Delilah, their model daughter who would be off to school in New York by spring. If she were to move to the city in winter could they trust she wouldn’t stay out until 3:00 dancing every night? “That won’t happen,” assured Lisa. It was her position that Delilah needed to learn life lessons and if that meant spending four days in a walk-in clinic attached to an IV because she’d been out too late then so be it. She needed to have her heart broken. She didn’t want her to be fearful for her life or get mugged, just have to figure out how to do her own laundry and take a subway.

GLAM CIRCLE

Teddi threw a facial party (a glam circle) as a thank you for allowing her to tag along on a Las Vegas trip. She wasn’t much of a party planner, so she enlisted her friend from the equestrian community to organize a mid-day lunch and facial rejuvenation session for each guest. She had little in common with these women, but knew the only way to get them to her house was to promise a free hand massage and a microdermabrasion treatment. “When you come you can get a laser peel, your pores waxed, or a stranger can spritz your face with oil. You can also make a sealable glass containers containing soil and plants for your garage,” she sent via text.

It’s important to point out that Teddi asked Dorit to come to the party early. She wanted to squelch their festering beef by pointing out it is incredibly disrespectful to show up late to an appointment. She should have never complained about the miscommunication without first addressing it with her. “Come on, Teddi,” screamed Dorit, “I was just telling my friends.” Well, if you are going to tell your friends, tell them the actual sequence of events.

CHAMPAGNE FLUTES

Dorit was not finished offending her host. She noted she was given the wrong stemware for her champagne. She could not possibly drink from a glass that was not specifically manufactured to accommodate a sparkling wine. She also refused the glam circle services. “Why would I let anyone other than my “team” touch my face?” she asked. It was unclear how many people were part of this team. Did she have someone specifically for eyebrows? How many were employed to remove the dead skin cells from her face? Did she use the same person for laser treatments and injections? “I will happily welcome any facial services and I was raised on Red Solo cups,” said Rinna.

The glam circle staff was bored. Few women took advantage of the free treatments because it would mean removing the layer of makeup they applied before arriving. No one wanted greasy hair from massage oils after an hour-long blowout. Several wanted to avoid having a medspa staffer locate their fresh facelift scars. Camille, the patron Saint of Malibu, happily threw on a silk robe and allowed them to knead her cheeks.

APOLOGY

Dorit debated apologizing to Camille. Honestly she wasn’t even aware of half the things she said. “I told her to use a strap on?” she asked. She fumbled through her apology. Camille didn’t understand her word usage. They hugged as if it would all be forgotten, but for Camille it would not. She would accept Dorit’s apology, but she would never trust her.

NEXT WEEK:

Dorit throws PK a birthday party on a yacht.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, recap, Glam Circle, Dorit, Teddi

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

1 Comment

  1. Quinner

    January 25, 2018 at 2:32 pm

    I laughed so hard at the scene where Rinna reminded Harry that she told the kids if they spat, that they would grow a willy! Well today I told my four year old the same thing would happen if she stuck her tongue out. It worked!

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