Show Recaps

Floribama Shore – Why You Should Watch It

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FLORIBAMA SHORE

MTV’s Floribama Shore is the story of eight young adults spending the summer in Panama City Beach, Florida. Floribama is a stretch of land that runs along the Gulf Coast from Alabama to Tallahassee. Panama City Beach is the capital of Floribama. These roommates are forced to live in a modest beach front home and work together as beach umbrella assistants all with the main goal of learning more about themselves and each other before someone is subjected to a hospital stay due to alcohol poisoning. Each guest has their own set of life experiences and horrendous clothing choices, but in the end they look to each other like family. This coming of age series is basically what would happen if Jersey Shore and The Real World had a baby and lived in the Spring Break capital of the eastern United States.

CAST

Aimee, 24, Perdido, Alabama

Suffering through a recent heartache after her relationship of ten years ended (she’s 24) when he cheated with her cousin and got someone pregnant (possibly her cousin). This is her first experience living outside of her extremely small town.

Episode Highlight: She experienced her first pedicure and the dead skin shavings covered the floor.

Reality Show Parallel: Sounds alarmingly like Gemmye from Real World: New Orleans.

Candace, 24, Memphis, Tennessee

Thrilled to be leaving the city of Memphis for a summer of debauchery. A voice of reason among wild young adults.

Episode Highlight: Teaching Gus how to properly hold a fork while eating a hot dog.

Reality Show Parallel: Younger version of Cynthia Bailey from Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Nilsa, 23, Panama City Beach, Florida

Married early and suffered through a miscarriage while her husband was on a military deployment. When he came back home she found out he had cheated.

Episode Highlight: Noting that despite all her plastic surgery treatments she is the most real person anyone could meet.

Reality Show Parallel: Looks exactly like a younger version of GG from Shahs of Sunset.

Codi, 25, South Carolina

Left a lucrative job as a bartender at an “old people’s bar” in South Carolina. Enthusiastic pot stirrer who walks around in meatball huggers.

Episode Highlight: Telling Nilsa that Jeremiah has no interest in ever having sex with her.

Reality Show Parallel: K. Cooper from Southern Charm

Gus, 22, No Idea 

Kicked out of his house at 17 and endlessly looking for a girlfriend.

Episode Highlight: He cut up a flannel shirt and made it into a t-back tank top and wore it to the club.

Reality Show Parallel: Johnny bananas from The Challenge

Jeremiah, 22, Somewhere

Looks like Clark Kent if he was on steroids. He is quick to point out that despite the fact he was home schooled he is not socially awkward.

Episode Highlight: Resisted the opportunity to get it on with Nilsa because his friend Gus had a crush on her. He washed dishes instead.

Reality Show Parallel: Frank from Real World: Las Vegas

Kirk, Panama City Beach, Florida

Fully embracing the beach lifestyle after moving from Atlanta, Kirk is loyal and peacemaker.

Episode Highlight: His fury over Jeremiah ignoring the responsibilities of their job to lube a girl named Kayla Jo up with low-SPF body oil.

Reality Show Parallel: Vinny from Jersey Shore.

Kortni, 21, Panama City Beach, Florida 

With an unfortunately spelled name and a low alcohol tolerance, Kortni can typically be found falling off a pool inflatable.

Episode Highlight: Urinating her bed and then in a beach trash can in the middle of the day.

Reality Show Parallel: Ruthie from Real World: Hawaii.

WHAT I SAW IN THE FIRST EPISODE

  1. Everyone is forced to share a room with someone with whom they have absolutely nothing in common. They also sleep in the toddler beds.
  2. There is little concern for healthy eating or living as they consume copious amounts of Doritos, stuffed crust pizza, and rail tequila. Everyone drinks Gatorade.
  3. Aimee brought with her for the duration often summer a fishing pole and a Costco sized pack of Ramen.
  4. Kortni wears full-size zip-up pajamas to bed, even if accompanied by a man. She sleeps beside a jug filled with soot.
  5. Aimee and Kortni normally have a cigarette dangling out of their mouths.
  6. Nilsa only wears crop tops and shorts that display her lady pocket. Kortni’s evening wear amounts to a bikini top and shorts.
  7. Gus wears stonewashed jeans.
  8. Jeremiah is a horrendous dancer and prefers to wear only pants at night clubs.
  9. Gus spent $150 on a dinner date with Nilsa. He scolded her for dropping a piece of cheesecake on the floor then ate it.
  10. There was a near fistfight in the middle of the city’s hottest nightclub over the definition behind pointing your two fingers backwards towards your eyes and then into the eyes of another. Nilsa and Kortni thought it meant war and Jeremiah’s new girlfriend Kayla Jo insisted it meant I salute your sexy body.
  11. Aimee is a slob and Jeremiah has OCD. For obvious reasons they are roommates.
  12. Several ancillary people appeared in background scenes wasted and dry humping while wearing scraps for clothing.

MTV, Floribama Shore, Nilsa, Gus, Jeremiah

 

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mm

Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

4 Comments

  1. Benjamin Cohen

    November 29, 2017 at 5:45 am

    Kirk didn’t even get an intro. I wouldn’t say he’s the Vinny, yet. Vinny was the guy that acted like he was Albie Manzo, the good guy. Meanwhile, he was just as depraved.

  2. Sarah Bozza

    November 30, 2017 at 9:23 pm

    Crap – u just convinced me – set DVR for tomorrow’s replay…

  3. Sarah Bozza

    December 8, 2017 at 12:26 pm

    I am three episodes in and totally hooked. Are you going to recap? Also – it took me a good three or four minutes to recognize Nilsa with no make-up and glasses on. I thought there was some other girl who had spent the night that we didn’t see!

    • mm

      Kate

      December 11, 2017 at 9:07 pm

      If I can find time.

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