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Demi Moore’s Daughters Ask Me For Advice

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Dear Kate,

We’re wondering if you can help us. Our mom is having what some would call a mid-life crisis. She’s really embarrassing. She’s 50 but hooks up with guys our age. She’ll text us asking our plans for the night and then show up, pound Red Bulls, and hit on our friends. How do we get her to understand that it’s uncomfortable having to explain to people that she’s our mom and not our weird cousin?

Thanks,

Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah

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Hey girls,

I know what it is like to have an embarrassing parent. My dad, for example, pretended he was involved in a bombing so he could participate in an Irish documentary. So, trust me, I get it. In these situations I find the best thing to do is a little reverse psychology. Start talking about how awesome it is to hang out at retirement centers. Pepper conversations with information about active adult communities. Talk about how all the hot guys play shuffleboard and how you get a great buzz after a water aerobics class. Then she might make her way over to Sunrise Valley Enhanced Living Center where people will compliment her on her wrinkle-free knees and her grey-free mane of horse hair. She will feel on top of her game again and might provide for you the opportunity to hang out with your dude friends in peace. In short, just make her believe that she can get boned at a senior living facility.

See what I am saying? Report back to headquarters once Project Aging is complete.

Best of luck,

Kate

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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