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Demi Moore Dating Her Daughter’s Friend

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Listen, who doesn’t at some point find their parents annoying? My mom used to leave me voicemails where she would go through an entire recipe – three minutes devoted to how to make lemon bars. My dad, as you know, speaks with an Irish accent and refers to himself by his “Gaelic name” though he was born and raised in Philadelphia. It’s inevitable, they are going to bug. But Demi Moore’s kids have nothing on us.

Demi, as you know, is still reeling from her split with Ashton Kutcher. It had been an issue in their relationship that she was nearly 20 years older. It was fun at first but reportedly her insecurity over the age gap became too much to overcome. She apparently spent hundreds of thousands of dollars getting plastic surgery, would pound Red Bull, and do whippets. Her daughters have allegedly grown tired of her obsession with getting Ashton back and for showing up at the places they like to hang out. Because the last thing you want to do when you are out for a fun girl’s night out is to turn around and see your mom with a glow stick, wearing your favorite pair of leather pants, and hanging all over the kid you used to sit across from in chemistry. “Sorry, guys”, you would have to explain. “My mom followed us and keeps asking everyone where the after party is.” And then you would corner her in the bathroom and ask her why she can’t go to movie matinees and play golf like everyone else’s parents.

Demi’s new boyfriend Vito Schnabel is 26 and is friends with daughter Rumer, 24. “Rumer was pretty annoyed to hear any of it because all of them know Vito,” a source tells People magazine. ”They have friends in common. It’s too close to home.”

How does that work out on family vacations? Hey, man, do you think you and my mom could keep it down? Can you do me a favor and make sure my mom is taking her hormone replacements? Listen; just don’t ask her about her knees. Whatever you do, just don’t bring up the fact that her neck and hands are wrinkled but her face is smooth and frozen. It’s sort of a sore subject and I just want to have a nice rest of the holiday without her having to call her therapist. Thanks.

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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