Dear Megan: Life Advice From My Sister Part 2
As you know, my sister Megan is a real treasure. She doesn’t pull punches when she gives life advice. Apparently people appreciate her smack-you-across-your-face counseling because I have been told countless times how much other people enjoy her. “You like getting guidance from someone who portioned off our joint bedroom with masking tape as kids?” I have responded. “You like feeling like you just got kicked down a flight of stairs?”
Nevertheless back by popular demand, my sister is giving direction on a number of your most pressing life’s issues.
LIFE ADVICE FROM MY SISTER MEGAN
Question: My friends want to do a girl’s trip to Las Vegas but I don’t know how to tell them I don’t want to go. What should I do?
Answer: “Tell them you are getting plastic surgery that week. Besides, why would you want to spend thousands of dollars watching your friends seek the attention of married men? You can do that in your own town and save money.”
Question: I just moved into a new neighborhood and I’m anxious no one will like me. How should I introduce myself? Should I bring fruitcake?
Answer: “You want people to hate you? Then you should bring them fruitcake. You don’t want to know your neighbors. Yes, it’s important to be neighborly if a tree falls in someone’s yard, but they don’t need to know your business. Wave to them from the street.”
Question: How do you break up with a bad hairdresser?
Answer: “Stop booking appointments.”
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE FRIEND
Question: I have a passive aggressive friend who is always taking advantage of me. For example, she asks to borrow one of my dresses and then asks me if I want it dry cleaned. If I say yes she will ask me if I want to pick up the dress and take it to the dry cleaner myself. How do I handle this?
Answer: “You tell her you want the dress dry cleaned and she has to take it to herself to the dry cleaner, pay for it, pick it up, and deliver back to your front door like other people who have manners.”
So there you go. Continue to send me your questions.
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