Dear CVS: A Love Letter

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Dear CVS,

I’d really been on the fence with you. After that time I witnessed the sales clerk at your store on Irvine Avenue clipping their nails at the counter I’d almost written you off for good. And can I be honest? You are not fooling anyone with that self-checkout. You lay off half your floor staff so I can take an additional five minutes ringing up my own Infant Motrin and batteries? But just as I was making the executive decision to go cold turkey on you I came across this picture of Giuliana Rancic posing in your skincare aisle. It occurred to me would someone who hosts a news telecast on the E! Channel really shop at Rite Aid? Would someone with the ability to ask Amy Adams what designer she is wearing get her tampons and Swifter refill at a Walgreens? They don’t. They shop at your fine establishment, which can oddly be found in some cities only a half mile down the street from each other.

And yes, may I say that after minutes of consideration it did occur to me that instead of washing my face with a paper towel and some tap water that perhaps the Ban Total Refresh Restore Cooling Body Cloths’ would do a better job. The cool silky touch and soft clean scent would do wonders for my sleep and moisture deprived face. That indeed their revolutionary cloths, with patented PowderSilk Technology, could leave my haggard skin feeling soft and refreshed with a translucent, superfine powder so my skin stays smooth and comfortable all day with no sticky residue.

So I guess we’re going back steady.

Love, Kate

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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