Celebrity Excuse Decoder: Your Guide to Celebrity Explanations

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Celebrities are very good at coming up excuses.

Here’s a guide to decoding them.

Consciously Uncoupling” = Getting a Divorce

“I Was Method Acting” = I Was Shoplifting

“I’ve Been Working Out More” – I Am Taking Steroids

“We Will Remain Trusted Partners and Friends” = I Hate Him/Her

“I Was Performing” – I Was Lip Syncing

“Rehab for Exhaustion” = Addiction Problems

“This Is a Vase” = This is My Bong

“Studying for a Role” = Sleeping With My Co-Star

“I Missed My Plane” = I Was Passed Out

“I Had an Allergic Reaction” = The Swelling Hasn’t Gone Down

“I Needed My Wisdom Teeth Removed” – I Have a Pill Problem

“Taking a Break From Acting to Spend More Time With My Family = Going To Rehab

“Looking For The Right Role” = No One Will Hire Me

“I’m Excited About Being Cast for Celebrity Rehab” = I Am Running Out of Money

“We are Just Friends” = We Are Currently Sleeping Together

“I Was Between Projects” = I Was Getting Plastic Surgery

“We’re Happy. No Plans to Split Up” = Our Attorneys Are Working on a Settlement

“We Met Through Friends” = Our Publicists Arranged This

“I Was Just Giving Her a Ride Home” = She is a Hooker

“Got Into a Fight With Homeless Men Over a Broken Bottle” = Looking for Drugs

If you like this, here is a post about how celebrity rehab sounds like a vacation.

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

1 Comment

  1. Tawny

    March 31, 2014 at 3:46 am

    Last one is my favorite.

    “Ran out of gas after midnight in the worst part of downtown LA”= I have a huge coke problem and if you call me out on it I will cut you out of my life ASAP.

    I wish we could go back to High School Musical days. Who would have thought that Vanessa would look like the angel now!

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