Uncategorized Posts
Mariah Carey’s Dress Explodes on Morning TV
This morning on Good Morning America Mariah Carey suffered a mini wardrobe malfunction. Her straps popped in the back of her sequin evening gown while in the midst of her interview with host Lara Spencer. (Oh how I wish it were George Stephanopoulos). She quickly grabbed her jugs and made a plea for help from one of her 12 assistants who quickly jumped on stage to rescue her. You would think … Continue reading
An Interview with Lindsay Lohan’s Former Assistant
Cosmopolitan has a fascinating interview with Lindsay Lohan’s former assistant. Gavin Doyle now works for a magazine but granted us all access into Lohan’s world because he’s apparently writing a book about his experience. (Note to self: Pre-order book for my yet to be established book club). Here’s what you need to know. (Especially if you have plans to quit your stable job, move to West … Continue reading
Real Housewives of Orange County Recap
Heather and Terry rushed around their marble mansion to awake their children all sleeping in custom upholstered beds. She was off to Los Angeles to film her much anticipated guest spot on TV Land’s breakout hit Hot in Cleveland. It would be a few days of rehearsals and then culminate with a night taping. Though Terry had explained that tapings are basically the easiest way to make you fall into … Continue reading
Real Housewives of Miami Wedding Invitation
I am now sadly at the age where less people are getting married. I have been attending more baby showers than romantic unions. And I would like to say that I am a tremendous wedding guest. I show up on time, I will chat it up with your great Aunt Louise, and I will be more than happy to perform an outstanding rendition of Bonnie Tyler’s I Need a Hero … Continue reading
Lindsay Lohan Doesn’t Want to Befriend Brooke Mueller in Rehab
You don’t have to be friends with everyone. Take for example the time I took my kids to the park and met a nice lady with a daughter the same age as mine. We chatted for a bit about local schools, where we grew up, and things we like to do in our spare time. She was very interested in how I stay in shape and how much free time … Continue reading
Celebrity Fashion Disasters
When I was in college I visited my friend Catherine in Buffalo, New York. Her parents got us tickets to a Buffalo Bills game during what was perhaps the coldest week in the city’s history. On our way out the door her father gave us some hand and feet warmers along with a stack of scarfs. “Remember ladies,” he said, “this is no time for fashion.” I spent the second … Continue reading
Paris Hilton Asks Me for Advice
Dear Kate, I need your advice. I used to have this friend. Let’s call her Shmim Shmardashian. We grew up together. She always idolized me. I mean, most people do. We used to have such a blast together. We’d spend hours talking about my amazing hair. We’d sit in my closet for hours while I’d try on clothes and practice poses. I even taught her how to use foreign men … Continue reading
Real Housewives of Orange County Recap
Over at Chateau Dubrow the servants and butler had gone home. Terry was left with mangled toenails and had nowhere to turn. “Do you want to cut my toenails,” he asked his wife as she applied an even layer of Chanel bronzer. She declined. Here she was trying to explain to him just how important it would be for him to take a few hours off from the face factory … Continue reading
How to Spot a Pregnant Celebrity
Dear Tabloids, Thank you for ongoing speculation about whether celebrities are pregnant. It’s been a lark. According to my notes Jennifer Aniston is probably pregnant with her 86th child. Good thing she makes money. How else would she pay for preschool? And your system for identifying a lady in her first trimester is incredible. Did you run it through the folks in Quantico? People Mag has a fascinating story today … Continue reading
Suri Cruise Launching Clothing Line While Your Kid Eats Paste
So I am guessing I’ve been dropping the ball as far as parenting goes. I’ve got an almost four year old, an 18-month old, and my next one drops in July once they’ve reached the end of their gestational period. None of them are in a pre-Olympic developmental program. I have yet to see them master Mandarin Chinese, trigonometry, or the art of making a soufflé. Only the oldest is … Continue reading