News

Bruce Jenner Pissed About Kim and Kanye’s Engagement

By  | 

A voicemail from Bruce Jenner to Kris Jenner:

Uh, Kris? It’s Bruce. Um, you wanna tell me what’s going on here? I was just sitting here in my satin robe plucking my eyebrows watching Real Housewives when I got a call from Mario Lopez asking for my reaction to Kimberly’s engagement. Kimberly’s engaged? Don’t you think it would have been nice for me to be there? I did practically co-raise her. I spent years listening to her go on and on about boyfriends, clothes, and how much she wanted a nose job. I moved out so she and Kanye could have my room. What thanks do I get? And I am the athlete in this family! Can someone explain to me why Kanye would propose on a baseball field? Wouldn’t it make more sense if he proposed at a Sephora store? You invite the entire makeup, hair, and clothes team but Bruiser the step-dad can’t come? Was Lamar invited? Jonathan Cheban was there but I was left out? 

You know, Brody was right about you. You are just a mean lady. You won’t have me to kick around anymore. I am done. And tell Kimberly I am very hurt. Tell her I may not be available if she decides to ask me to walk her down the aisle at her latest wedding. No one’s going to kick Bruce Jenner around anymore. You understand?

Pause.

Also, can I have $60 bucks? I need a new engine for my remote control helicopter.

brucekrisc

Kate is a humor writer covering pop culture including celebrity gossip analysis and show recaps, pregnancy, and parenting.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *