Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Hong Kong: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap

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This week on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the women traveled to Hong Kong and Erika had to explain to Dorit why they would never be friends.

PACKING

Before they embarked on a 13-hour flight to Asia the women packed their belongings into suitcases. Some of them had help. Nora stood beside Dorit as she pointed to shoes while her weave ponytail swayed back and forth. Ken held Giggy as Lisa walked through her closet suite pulling bejeweled jackets from the shelves. Lisa Rinna’s dog almost took a shat in the middle of the carpet while she piled duster sweaters. “Lola, I am only going on this trip to support your people,” she said of Lisa Vanderpump’s mission to stop the Yulin dog festival.

PLANE

At the airport they compared outfits and fake lashes. Erika arrived in a velour sweatsuit surprisingly without someone’s face airbrushed across the back. “They do understand we are all going to sleep,” said Erika. Lisa Rinna dipped into her plastic bag filled with “vitamins” and pulled out an Ambien. “Good night, Irene,” she whispered to the others before passing out in a first class collapsible bed.

HONG KONG

Once they arrived they unpacked in their fancy hotel suites. They marveled at the spectacular view and how the hotel staff left chocolate tiers in their rooms despite instructions to remove all carbohydrates from sight. Dorit reminded everyone that for an eight year period she visited Hong Kong regularly as part of her job in the bathing suit industry. It still didn’t explain why she developed a thick accent in only the last few years.

DINNER

Later at dinner Erika waltzed downstairs in her first look of the trip, a satin gown with accompanying hair buns resting on the top of her head with the help of industrial strength safety pins. She had flown in her hair, makeup, and choreography team so she could properly enjoy her vacation. Eden noted she had met someone online and was flying him to meet her so they could get it on all night long. The others sort-of worried she might be catfished. “What if he murders you?” asked Kyle. “What if I murder him?” she replied with the emotion of a serial killer. Erika nodded. It was a possibility.

DAMN YOU, DORIT

The next morning Lisa Rinna asked Dorit if she had intimated she had a pill problem. “I have this sense that maybe you were saying something,” explained Rinna. It wasn’t necessarily that someone overheard anything, just that she could get vibrations. Dorit demanded to know who had sold her down the river. “We were all joking,” said Dorit. “Can’t everyone take a joke?” Later during a trip to the highest peak in Hong Kong Lisa Rinna was able to confirm this psychic sense with Eden. “Now that you have expressed your intuition I can confirm something was said,” Eden replied. Damn you, Dorit.

DOCU

Eileen sensing she had little role in the show this season offered to attend a Yulin documentary taping with Lisa Vanderpump. Perhaps it could mend fences if she subjected herself to torture videos?

OUR MOTHER’S MADE MISTAKES

Erika and Kyle bonded over their mother’s parenting mistakes in a park. “Kyle Richards Umansky may have grown up in the business, but she is a cool chick,” said Erika. She didn’t think she would ever have the same experience with Dorit because talking to Dorit was like talking to a wall.

JUNK BOAT

That night they all got dressed (except Lisa Rinna in a Pink Ladies jacket and converse sneakers) for a junk boat ride. “I am wearing a leopard kaftan and heels,” said Kyle. “Should I be on a junk boat?” It was a beautiful ride until Dorit demanded to know who had told Lisa Rinna she had suggested she had a pill problem. Eden, who was now wearing an Emo Phillips wig, confidently reminded her that she had done so. Dorit, as expected, suffered from temporary amnesia.

Then Erika chimed in. She held out her hands and waved her fingers. You want me, Dorit? You want to do this? Come for me.

Erika: “Dorit, you can too much.”
Dorit: “You don’t talk enough.”
Erika: “I say important shit, you say too much boring shit.”
Dorit: “What is your problem with me? I have connected in some way with everyone else in the group except you.”
Erika: “That’s because I don’t like bullshit, Dorit and that’s what I think you are.”
Dorit: “Why don’t you just say it to my face?”
Erika: “I just did.”

Boom. Mic drop.

NEXT WEEK:

Lisa Rinna v Dorit. Everyone stands in front of a Buddha statue.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Hong Kong, Recap

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