This week on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills tensions ran high at Maurico’s party in Mexico when Kyle demanded to know why Lisa Rinna called her an enabler.
Lisa Rinna entered the gates of Casa Taquito, a rental estate owned by Mauricio’s co-worker’s uncle’s best friend. She had anticipated a warm welcome, but was instead greeted by a group of people eating guacamole and chips from a table in the pool. Rinna was rattled, but not in the same way one would be if they found out their duster sweater had not sold out on QVC within the allotted sales period. Would it be better if she zipped up her leather jacket and flew back to Harry and the kids and their maid who may or may not be stealing baking supplies and hiding them in the garage?
Later that night they all celebrated the opening of Mauricio’s Punta Mita office, because it was the real point of this vacation. This was not about relaxing in the Mexican sun, it was about participating in a never-ending informercial for a growing real estate corporation. Kyle greeted Lisa Rinna with a kiss on her cheeks, which was code for I will cut you with a serving knife after the margaritas have been served.
“Por favor, señor, margaritas con limón para mi y mis amigos,” Kyle said to the bartender. She noted one of the perks to being married to a Mexican husband is learning the language. “My gusta tortillas y no te entrar en mis pantalones,” she added. “Did she just say she likes tortillas and I shouldn’t enter her pants?” the bartender asked his co-worker. Mauricio thanked everyone for coming to the party and then invited them to the opening of the Agency’s next office in Guam. A mariachi band serenaded them as the others gathered in a booth to let Lisa Rinna know that Eden had thrown her under the bus.
SHITS GOING DOWN
“Listen, we’re happy to hear your daughter managed to walk down a raised platform while wearing a coat in New York,” they assured her, “but shits been going down while you’ve been gone.” Eileen leaned forward. “Speaking of shit, I am going to the bathroom. Maybe I shouldn’t have worn a white dress.”
Lisa Vanderpump explained to Dorit by the chimichanga buffet that Lisa Rinna had a tendency to say “bold” things and then not “own” them later. It was poetic because the same conversation was happening across the room. “I think you need to talk to Kyle,” said Erika. “Eden has inserted herself in Kyle and Kim’s relationship and now she has inserted you too. I won’t deliver the message, but you should go over to Kyle and talk to her about this, even if it destroys her husband’s professional accomplishment celebration.”
I CAN’T REMEMBER
Kyle asked Rinna if it was true that she had said Kim was close to death and an enabler. Rinna tilted her head sideways. “I wish I could remember,” she replied. “I don’t remember ever saying that,” she added. “All I can say is that it was a deep conversation about Eden and you and death and being sober. I did let her know that I did not want to talk about death or being sober or you being an enabler, so there’s that. So maybe Eden needs to own her shit.” The only problem was that archival footage proved Lisa Rinna had said so much. Lisa Vanderpump punched the sky.
Rinna left the party so she could cry into a palm tree. She wanted to go home. Dorit, Erika, and Eileen comforted her. “It is very easy to not remember what you said,” said Erika. “Lord knows this group of women has a hard time remembering everything.”
On the way home in a travel bus PK asked Ken how long it takes Lisa to remove her Spanx before love making. Lisa threatened to remove her undergarments and wave them in his face. No one asked PK how long it takes him to remove his medallions before Dorit falls asleep in her twin bed.
The next morning Lisa berated the house staff about the conditioner in the shower. Lisa Rinna sought the advice of Harry on how to communicate with Kyle despite her understanding that Rinna has called her an enabler. “Just go focus on your suntan,” replied Harry.
Eden, meanwhile, received a visit from her mother, a woman with nearly the same face. As she explained it they had a rocky relationship because of her mother’s alcoholism. They had not really connected until four years ago when they both went cold turkey. Eden wanted to know if she remembered having Kim Richards at the house years ago, back when they hosted all the drug addicts in town for pool parties. “She’s come back into my life,” Eden explained. Her mother cautioned her to stay out of other people’s lives, apparently unfamiliar with the premise of the show her daughter was filming.
Dorit and PK called their nanny Peggy to get an update on the kids. “Don’t worry,” said Peggy, “we (as in the team) have it covered.” Dorit ran her hands through her island braids as tears fell onto her tunic. “It’s torture being away from my children,” she cried. Her son had begun saying mama, but to another lady. PK held her close. “Don’t worry, they don’t have any poo poo in their pants,” Peggy assured them.
They all set out for a boat ride with the exception of Lisa and Ken. They needed to fly to Washington to speak before a table about dog torture. Fortunately they were all able to put their feelings aside by watching Lisa Rinna perform Erika’s song Painkillr on top of the lunch nook. (Maurice was in full view of her wax job). PK let Dorit know that she would be rewarded for messing up her braids and eyelash extensions by jumping into the ocean. She jumped feet first.
Kyle and Kim meet up at a clothing store.