Show Recaps

Best Moments From Bachelorette: Fantasy Suite

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This week on the Bachelorette JoJo eliminated Luke and then took Chase, Robby, and Jordan to Thailand where two of the men enjoyed the fantasy suite.

Here are the 10 best moments from this week’s The Bachelorette.

FANTASY SUITE

  1. Though Luke had confessed to her that he was falling in love it was not enough to sustain a television romance. JoJo made the sound of someone crying but tears failed to fall from her face. “Why does this hurt so much?” she asked the sky. Luke was crestfallen as he sat in the back of a stretch limo his eyes wide and bright teeth glistening in the moonlight. “I am going to miss you,” she whispered. “I miss you already,” he replied. He walked like a cowboy, but had the fake tan of a girl going off to the junior prom. It was not enough.
  2. She returned to the hangar in her Oscar gown after her performance in I Wanted To Bone You But Not Marry You was complete. She was grateful for the opportunity to take the three remaining contestants to Southeast Asia so she could evaluate their potential future.
  3. In Thailand Robby took JoJo on his dream date: pedicures! Resplendent in skinny white jeans, a boating blazer, and loafers sans socks he reminded her that in the short few weeks they’d known each other he had fallen deeply in love with being on television her. To prove his point he provided her with a note his “dad” had written on a legal note pad after his hometown date, a night marked by discussion that he had dumped his last girlfriend so he could get on the show. Dear Son: You really handled that scene in the living room like a man. Can you get me free tickets to the US Open out of this? Love, Dad
  4. On her date with Jordan they hiked a mountain that led to a cave. It was symbolic, as he had planned to explore her caves later that night. Though he was a former professional football player he opted for lace up business shoes to climb the steep incline. He worried about how the humidity would affect his pompadour. She asked him to respect the sacredness of the temple and wait to kiss her until they had been transported to the bottom of the hill. After a dinner she declined to eat they settled into their room at the Marriott where they made sweet love.
  5. “What is your mom like?” asked Jordan. No one had provided him with archival footage of her mother guzzling champagne from a bottle last season. He hoped they would like him so he could solidify his role in the finale. “What about your brothers?” he asked. She didn’t have the heart to tell him they would berate him on national television. “They are protective,” she answered. “My goal has always been to look at a father and allow him to see that I will protect his daughter and love her,” explained Jordan. “Is that how you feel about me?” she asked. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he responded.
  6. “Although we have been talking about getting married we have yet to discuss logistics including where we would live and if you have a job,” JoJo asked Jordan. He explained to her that the greatest thing about the job he wanted was that he would be without a home base, free to sleep in hotels in strange cities and with other women without having to pay a mortgage.
  7. Chase had looked forward to the fantasy suite. It was good to get away from Colorado and his apartment without a suitable railing for his staircase. He had proven his love for her earlier that day by allowing fish juice to soak his polo shirt. But before they could start removing each other’s clothes she let him know that despite opening up to her about his feelings it would not be enough to let him stay the night and bone her. “So now love equals ‘Get the f— out?’ he replied, which in his mind was a violation of Bachelorette Code 43: The Art of Making It To The Finale.
  8. JoJo pressed forward with the emotionally draining rose ceremony even though it was obvious there was no one to eliminate. Suddenly Chase appeared from the bushes. “May I speak with you?” he asked. Robby’s spray tan started to sweat off his face. He wiped the mascara from beneath his eyes. Can you just reappear after elimination? Chase asked for her forgiveness. It was not in his nature to raise his voice or show emotion or appear human. He let her know he wanted the best for her, which is not with someone who wants to be a sports broadcaster. She touched him as she did with all the contestants: like an animal in heat.
  9. Chase didn’t understand what was missing from their relationship. Chemistry, she tried to explain.
  10. Robby and Jordan stood together on a platform before their Earth angel. She would not tell anyone she loved them until the finale, because it would be disrespectful to the other guy she had been having sex with.

Next Week:

The men sort of tell all.

The Bachelorette, Jojo, Thailand, Fantasy Suite

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Comedian, Author, and Host of Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast.

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